Partners In Life (by Anthony Yeo)

I recently finished reading the book Partners in Life written by Anthony Yeo. We were given this book by the SAF after hubby and my ROM last year and SAF wanted me to join the ‘Officers’ Wives Club’. The book is loaded with suitable references for those residing in Singapore as it is written with the local culture and practices in mind. As the title suggests, the book deals with issues that confront married couples and tried to offer solutions to these issues so as to preserve and maintain marriages. I didn’t quite like the book in the beginning. But as I read on, I discovered that there are several pointers I can learn from and the book does enlighten me. So I thought I’ll share the parts that stood out and hopefully improve your marriage or just enrich you.

In the first couple of chapters, the author discusses the different dimensions of marriage as well as reasons for wanting to get married. The book then goes on to correct societal misconceptions of singles as well as married couples.

Myths of singlehood include:
1) Being single is not being complete: This is not necessary true. A person’s marital status is not a measurement of what he/she has achieved in life and shouldn’t be used as a yardstick for that.
2) Singles are unwanted people: Many people are single by choice and there are many reasons for singlehood. For example, they may feel that having a partner may pose a hindrance to them. They may not have as much freedom to do what they wanna do or go where they wanna go.
3) Singles are socially inept: Personally, I feel the opposite may be true. Being in a relationship or marriage can actually be a pitfall to one’s social life as the couple become too embroiled in the idea of spending ‘couple time’ together. They may end up spending all their leisure time with their partners and end up neglecting friends. In the long run, they end up alienating themselves from their friends.
4) Singles are selfish and self-centred: This may be true in some instances but we shouldn’t allow ourselves to think that it applies to all. Being centred on oneself is not the same as being self-centred. An individual can be centred on his own life and yet still care about the people around him.
5) Being single means being dull, lonely and miserable: Singles actually know how to enjoy themselves more than people in a relationship. They have all the freedom and financial ability to enjoy. They have less commitment than those with a family of their own.

The book also explores myths that people have about marriage and overthrow these myths as just that – myths. Many of us think that being married means an individual will be happy and will always be in a state of love. We all know how much truth this statement holds. Look at the number of unhappily married people among us. Many have sought the relief (or escape) of divorce and that number continues to rise. Also, being a happy couple does not necessarily mean that there are no disagreements. In every relationship, conflicts are bound to arise and “happily ever after” only happens in the storybooks we read as children. They are just fairy tales. Even the happiest and most loving of couples have their own disagreements cos they are thinking individuals. Everyone has different ideas and thinking. How can we ever expect to think in exactly the same way as another person? Whether we overcome the disagreement positively or not depends on the degree of compromise we are willing to make.

As a couple begins their life together, they’ll have to learn to manage their expectations. For example, the wife may expect the husband to be home for dinner and to spend time talking to her. The husband, on the other hand, just wants to relax and watch tv. If the couple did not state their expectations, such situations may give rise to disagreements and eventually lead to a quarrel. Most times, we keep our expectations to ourselves, presuming that the other party knows what we want and/or are thinking about. Unfortunately, this does not happen and if we do not vocalize our expectations, then we’ll only get frustrated.

When it comes to communication, male and female often have very differing views. The topic of conversations also varies. Put a group of men together and they will start discussing about soccer, cars, jobs and that pair of legs that just past by their table or those boobs that are threatening to spill outta the outfit of that woman at the other table! However, when women get together, they talk about things that are emotional like their relationship, their worries as well as the gossips they have just heard. Most men have difficulties talking about themselves voluntarily. I know this first-hand cos hubby can be dumb (as in not able to talk) at times. It’s frustrated the hell outta me and we have quarreled several times over this. I began to appreciate this better after I read the book and it daunted on me that this is pretty normal. In fact, silence is also communicating. A couple should learn to enjoy the silence between them.

When a woman said she wanna do things together, she meant it literally. However, a couple can also be enjoying their time together by doing things separately. For example, they can be surfing the net together (which is what hubby and I do almost every night). This is also a form of spending time together. I think most of us fail to realize that we can spend time together doing separate things.

There are some adaptations that I have picked out throughout the book which I really like. Ladies, read on! Here goes:
- On leaving their parents’ home to set up their own: “They need to disengage in order to be bonded with their partners. This can be a painful move especially for those who are closely bonded to their families of origin….At times, it is made harder by the reactions of the family members, usually the parents. They may not be ready to let ‘the birds off the nest’.”
- On the difference in treatment between male and female by their in-laws: “They (sons-in-law) tend to be well regarded as some parents feel they have gained a son with the marriage of their daughter. Unfortunately, this may not be the case for the woman. She may not get the same treatment from her husband’s parents as they may feel they have lost a son to her.
- On in-laws problems: “Most of the in-law problems unfortunately centre on the wife and her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law is seen as a threat as she has taken the son away….The arrival of grandchildren may again present difficulties if the couple (the grandparents) regards them as ‘their grandchildren’ and become too involved with them.
- On husband taking sides when conflicts arise: “In some situations of conflict, the husband would have to decide with whom he should align. Preferably there should be a compromise. If that is not achievable for whatever reason, he may need to align himself with his wife if he is concerned about long-term harmony in his marriage. Though it is not recommended that the husband abandon his family of origin, in particular his mother, he may have to decide to do so for his wife’s sake. If he is committed to his marriage, he will have to choose his wife, not his mother. Ultimately, the husband should protect his wife whenever the occasion calls for it.

Celebrating Babe's Birthday

Last Friday we celebrated our Hot Mama's 26th birthday. For lack of ideas and finances, we decided to have steamboat at Elaine's place. Actually, I quite like the idea. It's more economical and I feel it provides more warmth and enables us to have a more cozy celebration than if we had a celebration outside.

It was a good opportunity for the group to interact too. Very seldom do the guys have a chance to get together and have a nice chat. And, of course, we get to play with the kids. It's amazing how much they have grown. I think we are all really getting old.

After steamboat, we had chocolate fondue. In our haste to melt the chocolate using the microwave, we slightly burned the chocolate. Haha... Nonetheless, we enjoyed the camaraderie and it was fun sharing the fondue, even though it wasn't very successful.

After that, we had a make-shift KTV session and sang a few songs. After which, we were all getting tired and decided to call it a night.

Although it was a simple celebration, I feel it's actually more meaningful and definitely better than celebrating it outside.

Whatever the case may be, Happy Birthday Elaine! I wish you well and may you be blessed with the best in life. God bless!

Weekday Escapade

Hubby and I made a trip to Sentosa yesterday cos he was advised to take leave and our weekend started on Thursday.

It's been a while since we last suntanned. To be exact, the last time we suntanned was in July, during our trip to Bali. Thereafter, I had to abstain myself so that people wouldn't think he married an Indian lady during our wedding in October. So I reunited the skin with the sun and boy was it a good feeling!

It's been raining everyday for the past week and I was afraid it'll rain again. But the weather held and though it was cloudy, we managed to get the sun for a while. Both of us ended up being slightly burned.

We had a good time and I even walked away feeling like we went away for a short trip. haha... It's nice to be able to go away for a while; from the routines of everyday life (okay, i hear some of you shouting: "but you're not even working!"). It recharges you and you'll feel instantly better. Really! I think all of us should make an effort to have a little 'retreat' once in a while. Travelling may be a little costly. Going to Sentosa or even a quiet stretch of East Coast Park will do the job nicely (although, of cos, going overseas is always a preferred option). Since we're watching the wallet cos we're still trying to pay off debts incurred from the wedding and trying to save for our honeymoon in Jan, we'll just make do with our fave local suntanning spot.

Surprisingly, it wasn't crowded. In fact, it was almost dead. Not a single tour group was in sight when we first arrived. The bistro was empty save for 4 people. Quiet, huh? Considering that it's the school holidays already. Normally, it's not so peaceful when school's out.

So we enjoyed a quiet afternoon at the beach. I even got quite a lot of inspiration for my writing. I'm hoping we can do this again real soon; and hopefully the place will be quiet and the sun strong!

My Prized Possessions

For those who read my earlier blogs, these are the books I bought at the Bookfest over the weekend. And hidden in it somewhere, is the Christmas pressie I got for the godson. Was cleaning the house and had to remove these books which we left on the floor cos we didn't know where to put them. The bookshelves are full! So I thought I'll take a photo of them, just for the heck of it. haha...

Change: The Only Constant In Life

I rose early this morning (when I say early it means about 9.30am) and started on a new book. I've bought this book like months ago but regrettably didn't get to read it till now. It was an easily digestible book and I finished it within the morning. The book is about changes and I'm sure you'd have heard of it: Who Moved My Cheese? (by Dr Spencer Johnson)

The book highlights to its readers how to deal with changes and the author cleverly drew illustration by the simple act of 2 mice and 2 Littlepeople (who were like mice but with the ability to think like a human) looking for cheese in a maze. They found cheese at a certain station and all 4 of them fed on the cheese and lived life happily. The distinct difference is that the 2 mice took off their running shoes and hang them around their neck, so that they can be ready and on the go when the need arises. The 2 Littlepeople got comfortable and took off their shoes and left them lying around mindlessly.

With the 4 of them feeding on the same supply of cheese, it is no wonder that the cheese started to get depleted. One fine day, the 2 mice came to the same station for their supply of cheese but found no cheese! Being animals (without the complexity in thoughts of the humans), they took their running shoes which have been hanging on their necks and headed off into the maze again in search of new cheese. The 2 Littlepeople came to the station and started lamenting and complaining. Whining about who moved their cheese. Ever since the day they found the cheese, they became complacent and did not notice that the supply has been getting less day by day. In fact, nobody moved their cheese. There was simply no more cheese.

Unlike the 2 mice, the 2 Littlepeople did not move immediately in search of new cheese. They lay around complaining all day. One of them finally saw the folly of his own ways and started out looking for new cheese. This is not without first going through a lot of fears and hesitation. He wasted a lot of time asking himself questions that prevented him from moving forward. He was kept stationary by his own fears and doubts. His friend was even worse. He did not even want to move from his comfort zone. The first Littlepeople tried persuading his friend to join him in his new journey. But his friend refused. So he looked for his running shoes (which he didn't know where they ended up as he didn't thought he will need them again and so wasn't keeping track) and took off into the maze after much consideration and wasted time.

After much hardship, he came upon an abundance of cheese. There was more in quantity and varieties as compared to his previous find. So, of course, this is a better treasure than what he has found previously. Then he saw his 2 mice friends and looking at their rounded tummy, realised that they have found the treasure long before him. And rightly so; as they set off immediately when they realised that there was no cheese. He set off only after a long period of hesitation. By which time, he was already weak both in spirit and physically. As he looked back, he recollected all the insights he has picked up along the way:

1) Change Happens: They keep moving the cheese.

2) Anticipate Change: Get ready for the cheese to move

3) Monitor Change: Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old

4) Adapt to Change Quickly: The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy new cheese

5) Change: Move with the cheese

6) Enjoy Change!: Savour the adventure and enjoy the taste of new cheese

7) Be Ready to Change Quickly and Enjoy It Again and Again: They keep moving the cheese

The above is just a very brief summary of the book and I think it's a worthy read. Isn't it true that changes are constantly taking place in our lives? But more often than not, we are so afraid of moving out of our comfort zone that we don't challenge ourselves anymore. And because of this, we remain in the rut that we so often complain about. We realise that things are less than desirable. But we lack the courage to go out there and try something different. We'll rather be stagnant and unhappy. For example, all of us complain and grumble about work. But yet, we are afraid to go find a new job becasue we are afraid to start over in a new environment; getting to know new people, new system, new portfolio, etc. Sometimes, we think too much. We emphasize and enlarge a challenge so much out of proportion that we are afraid to undertake it. So we end up being miserable and dragging our feet to work daily. It comes to a point when the volcano erupts and we move out to get a new job. But we have already been miserable for so long that the negative impact is already imprinted in us. So even if we get a new job, we drag that negativity with us and that inhibits us from performing optimally.

Once we realise that we have given our best and tried to change a negative experience into a positive one and it is just not working, we should move on and look for a new experience.

So are we ready to move on and accept new challenges? Do we want to have a better tomorrow? The choice is ours.

Amanda Got Baptized!

Yesterday was a special day for Amanda. She got baptized after her RCIA journey for the past year. Welcome to the family!

Being Amanda, she got emotional during mass and before she even got baptized, tears started flowing down those cheeks of hers.

Haha...But it was all in good faith and she has every rights to be emotional. It was, afterall, her big day. The day she became a child of God and accepted the invitation to be at the table of God. She had her first communion and it was all very nicely done.

And, of cos, we didn't pass up on the opportunities for photos. It was good cos otherwise, hubby and me wouldn't think of taking photo at the new grotto the church has. We didn't even take a photo there during our wedding. I also took the chance to take photo with Fr. Rich.

The past year of lessons required discipline and commitments from us who were there to learn about the faith. It was a good thing that Fr. Rich was the one conducting the lessons. Otherwise, we would have fell asleep on more than one occasions. There was much to learn and Fr. Rich threw some insights into stuff we would never have thought of.

I was glad I got the form for Amanda and asked to join hubby and us on our RCIA journey. Now all three of us (Elaine, Amanda and I) are Catholics and in one big happy family.

During mass, I can't help but wonder what thoughts are running through Amanda's mum. She has 3 daughters and as of yesterday, 2 are Catholics. The last one is going through RCIA and no doubt will one day, be baptized as a Catholic. Her mum, on the other hand, is a non-believer and even quarrelled with Amanda about an altar when they shifted from their previous residence. Was she feeling abandonment and loneliness as she witness Amanda being baptized. Once or twice I thought I saw a myriad of emotions in her eyes. I could be wrong and it may just be a figment of my imagination. But often time, parents dun state what they really think. So long as their children and happy with their choices, they will let them do what they want, regardless of how they really feel. Oh well, all we can hope and pray for is that she will one day accept Christ and be baptized as well. Then all will be well and good. Anyway, congrats Man!

After the baptism mass, Hubby and I popped by the National Library to drop off our donation of stationery before proceeding to Suntec for the Bookfest. On the way there, we came across a bus that is the incarnation of the Speeding Gonzalez!

It was travelling on the first lane and overtook several cars and some of them filtered to the second lane to get out of the way of the runaway bus! It was going fast and furious! With such a high CG, I was worried it may topple anytime!

Anyway, we went to the Bookfest and I was just so thrilled! Got the magazine that my articles were published in and took 2 more for Amanda and Elaine whose pictures were published too cos they were my subjects when I was writing the articles. But what was printed was not my original works and they edited and simplified them so much. Sigh...Lost my essence in the process. Oh well, not bad for a first-timer, I guess.

Hubby and I came home with many many books, which will last me for a few months. Or until we leave SG for Australia (if all goes well!!!). I'm keeping my fingers (and toes!) crossed that we will leave in Feb and not July!!!! The implication of leaving in July scares me!

Playing Catch

It's always been said that an action warrants a reaction. Everything has its consequence but very seldom do we stop and consider our actions before it's too late and we have to pay the penalty for making a wrong decision.

In the past couple of months, the past have been catching up with me rapidly and I barely had the chance to catch my breath. While preparing for the wedding, I had to come face to face with a previous marriage gone awry. You would have thought everything ended when you walked out of the courtroom. But heck, no. The past has a way of haunting you and I struggled with feelings of resentment and anger. It was good that things got sorted out in the end and we had a beautiful wedding. All's well that ends well.

Now, another bad experience in the past is back to haunt me. I've been thinking for the past week if what I did in the days of my youth is now bearing fruit and asking me to pay its dues. I shudder to think if that particular incident has anything to do with what is happening now. There are heaps of foolish things I did in the past. But this one takes the trophy of being the most serious. My thoughts are in a mess and I can't even force myself to sit down and write. It's making me restless and I have no concentration for anything else. I picked up the novel, only to put it back down 3 pages later. I opened the Bible, only to shut it 2 chapters after. I surfed the internet for information, but couldn't settle on any topic of interest. I switched on the telly, only to end up channel surfing (something I dislike and always chided hubby about). I just can't keep my senses intact. It doesn't help that I'm feeling under the weather. That darn flu is hell-bent on making life difficult for me.

Am I thinking too much and reading too much into this? I yearn for a ciggy. But that is a luxury I no longer allow myself to indulge in. Gone were the days when I can drink myself silly and smoke myself into an asthma attack when things go the wrong way. I need an outlet. I need something to help me feel momentarily better. I feel terrible now and I can't let it out. My 3 ways of venting my frustrations are out-of-order this time round. I can't smoke, for obvious reasons. I can't drink cos it'll just block my nose even more. I can't write cos my thoughts are all over the place.

I feel like crap.

Our Honeymoon Itinerary: Italy Grandeur

Day 1 (Singapore - Milan)

Our vacation starts with a pleasant flight to Milan, gateway to Italy.

Day 2 (Milan City Tour - Verona)

Upon arrival in Milan, start our sightseeing with a visit to the Duomo Square and Victor Emmanuel Galleria. In the afternoon, some free tome for shopping or more photos. Continue to Verona for stayover.

Day 3 (Verona - Venice)

In the morning, proceed for a short orientation tour. Photo stop at Juliet's Balcony. Continue to Venice. Transfer by private motorboat ride to St. Mark's Square. Explore this exciting city on foot. Weather permitting, you may like to experience a gondola ride.

Day 4 (Venice - Florence - Tuscany)

Depart for Tuscany. Enjoy a nice walking tour of Florence. Some free time for shopping or photo-taking. In the evening, enjoy a sumptuous Florentine steak dinner complete with wine.

Day 5 (Tuscany - Pisa - Perugia)

Drive to Pisa for a visit to the Square of Miracles where the famous Leaning Tower is located. Some free time for photo-taking before proceeding to Perugia area for overnight stay.

Day 6 (Perugia - Assisi - Naples)

This morning, we take a scenic drive to the famous walled city of Assisi where there will be free time to walk around this medieval town. Perched halfway up Mt Subasio, the visual impact of its shimmering white marble buildings is magnificent. Continue to Naples for an overnight stay.

Day 7 (Naples - Capri Island - Sorentto - Naples)

Visit the beautiful island of Capri. After lunch, continue to the beautiful southern resort of Sorrento. Some time is given for shopping and photo-taking before we go back to Naples.

Day 8 (Naples - Rome)

This morning, proceed for an orientation tour which includes the historic center featuring the Palazzo Reale and San Carlo Opera House. In the afternoon, we depart for Rome.

Day 9 (Rome)

In the morning, we take a city tour with the local guide. Discover the many amazing facets of the eternal city on a short orientation tour.

First stop is Church of St Peters-In-Chain that houses the chains that imprison the first Pope, St. Peter, as well as the famous statue of Moses by Michelangelo.

Next to Fontana di Trevi for shopping. An opportunity for those interested to join an optional tour to visit the Vatican Museum, the Spanish Steps and the famed Sistine Chapel.

Day 10 (Rome - Singapore)

Bid farewell to Rome as we are transferred to the airport for our flight back home.

Day 11: Home Sweet Home

(Above itinerary by Five Stars Tours)

Life In SG?

We just returned home from a combined dinner celebration for John and Glenn's birthdays. Went to Jumbo at Stadium Walk and as we turned into the carpark, it suddenly came to mind that Beyond is holding a concert tonight. So we had free 'live' singing as occasionally we could hear the songs coming from within the indoor stadium.

Dinner was yummy cos it was a table of my fave - seafood! But I couldn't really indulge cos I forgot to bring my medicine. One of the irritating price I had to pay for growing old is that my body has changed. I used to devour seafood like there's no tomorrow. A few years back, I developed an allergy reaction to shell fish but couldn't identify which is the one (although fresh oysters are strict no-nos) that causes me to break out in rashes. So every time I eat seafood, I am actually taking a gamble cos I can break out in rashes anytime. It has scared more than a couple of people who had the misfortune to be having dinner with me when suddenly I turn as red as a lobster and looked like a leper. I had to be rushed to hospital more than once and had near-death experiences too. But that did not stop me from consuming my all-time fave.

Anyway, we finished dinner and had absolutely no idea where to go from there. We didn't know what to do! All we did on most weekends was to play mahjong. Other than that, we'll either catch a show to go KTV. We simply can't think of anything else to do after 10pm. Is there really nothing interesting to do in SG when it's late? What is it that the rich and famous do? Are they as bored as us?

It really makes me wonder if we are the ones who lack creativity or is life in SG really that boring. For someone who thinks silence is the best noise, what is there to do and where is there to go? I dun really mind curling in bed with a good book. But the problem with that is that it's an individualistic activity and can't be shared among friends. Besides that, it is also one of the minuses of my relationship with hubby - he doesn't share my passion for reading. It's not that he doesn't like to read. He does. He just isn't as passionate about it. So times when I just wanna be left alone to spend some quiet time away in a world of my own with my book, I find that I can't do that without having the nagging feeling that I'm neglecting hubby. So I end up being in a routine over it (which I dun enjoy cos I'd much prefer it to be spontaneous). I only do that during the weekdays when hubby is away at work and I am alone at home. But doing that in the day and at night is different. It just has a different feel to it.

Sorry to digress. Back to life in SG. What is there to do? So many young people are embroiled in the 'night life'. That of pubbing and drinking themselves silly then waking up feeling like shit the next day, not to mention burning a big hole in the pocket. What's the joy in all that? Perhaps it's just me. But I prefer sitting around with a small number of friends and catching up on one another's lives. Sure, the topic of interest may vary but it is much more meaningful than having to shout into somebody's ears. In the end, you dun gain anything at all.

Am I right to think that there is nothing interesting to do in SG after dark? Do enlighten me.

Time Change, People Change

They were married for 20 years and her husband and kids were everything to her. Then a ludicrous deal fell on her lap and she had to go overseas on a job assignment and could only fly back home during the weekends (if she had to be involved in meetings, then she'll have to give up her trips home on some weekends). She didn't wanna take the assignment as she wanted to be around for her kids' final year before they leave home for college. But her husband encouraged her to go ahead as this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and since she has given so much of herself to the family for the past 20 years, it's only fair that they supported her in doing something for herself. So she asked her best friend, who lived next door and whose husband died 2 years ago, to help with the kids and look after the house. And so the best friend did. On top of all the other practical needs she was asked to look into, she even went the extra mile to take care of the husband's sexual needs. What was initially good intentions helped her husband to cheat on her. He wanted to put a stop to the extra-marital affair and ended it with her when his wife found out. So the best friend went away for a month while the couple tried to make things work again. The wounds were beginning to heal again when the best friend returned with breast cancer. She had a mastectomy done and had to undergo radiation. While the lead character was away at work, her husband accompanied the best friend for her radiation sessions without his wife's knowledge, for fear that it would create a well-founded misunderstanding. The wife flew back secretly one weekend to give him a surprise and was in turn surprised herself. Standing at the gate of her house, she saw her husband walk out of her best friend's house, with his hand around her waist. It was then she realised that the affair was underway again. So the husband said he wanted to marry the best friend cos she needed him more that the wife and that the wife was a stronger person and was able to take care of herself better. Just like that, the husband walked out on the family and moved into a new house which the best friend just bought. With the kids away in college and a husband away in another woman's embrace, the lead character had no choice but to hang onto the lifeline of work. She was offered another proposition and she took it on. She left home, with all the heartache of 20 years down the drain. A life that she loved and was so familiar with. A husband who was a confidante. Who was once solid and trustworthy. Who was once her pillar of strength and support. Now that the pillar of support belonged to someone else. In the short time span of just 6 months, the world in which she lived in fell apart; and she was forced to relearn how to live another life and to create another world for herself.

What I just narrated may have come from the Danielle Steel novel, Bungalow 2, that I'm currently reading. But it is no stranger to a lot of women in this world that we're living in. These women, who have given so much of their lives to the family; who unselfishly gave up their own ambitions and pursuits just to bring comfort to the family and put dinner on the table. As soon as their backs are turned, they get betrayed by someone who is the closest to their hearts; who vowed to be with them through thick and thin, till death do them part. Ironically, the very person who exchanged these vows with a woman, is sometimes, the very person who caused the woman's death. Perhaps not physically, but certainly emotionally.

What issit about that stick that hangs in between a man's legs that wield so much power? So much so that it controls a man's psychological as well as physical being. It happens to the most rational and intelligent man I know (who was a lecturer turned friend) and the most sensible and mature man I have the misfortune to get married with previously.

Why issit that they allow their whole credibility and reputation to crumble just for that warm and wet epicentre of a woman? One gave up his whole life of more than 40 years and became without a friend when they all condemned him when he divorced his wife. The other threw his reputation and a budding career away and had to leave the hotel where he was previously employed because the bosses didn't trust him anymore and colleagues were talking behind his back when he took to the bed of a co-worker. Or rather, more accurately, when he took the co-worker to our bed. It really makes one wonder if the animal instinct in men can be so strong that it defies all logic and reasoning. When women stray, it is often the emotions at play. But when men stray, more often than not, it is the sexual desires that hold the rein. They throw caution to the wind for just a night of romping and when that proved to be satisfying, they go back for more. Otherwise, they look elsewhere. Anywhere but home. They are willing to give up a stable family life with predictable and boring sex for an empty one with hot and sexy manouveurs. The DNA make-up of men and women really varies so much. We often hear people saying they do not know what their partners want. That is hardly surprising, given how very different the two genders are.

In this time and age where sex is casual and one-night stands are aplenty, how much creativity is enough? Do men treasure the family? Or are they still just interested in good sex? To choose the wife or the mistress? As my parish priest would say, the choice is yours.