My Very First Loaf of Roti

I've been wanting to try baking bread for a long time but was always daunted by the knowlegde that it's not as straightforward and easy as baking cake. Hence, I've put it off for quite a while. But for some reason, the bread that we buy here always turned mouldy very quickly. In the span of 4 days, the bread will smell funny and you know it's gonna turn bad soon. So I decided to have a go at it and finally got down to business.

Looked at some recipes online and found a simple one that came with a demo video. So off to the supermarket I went to get bread flour, only to find out that the Jogja's version of bread flour is actually not flour at all. So I stuck to my normal maize flour and hoped for the best.

The dough didn't turn out like the one in the video. I had to make some adjustments to the ingredients and was disheartened. Already I started off with a mindset that bread-making is difficult. The dough coming out funny didn't help matter. I was prepared to throw away the whole batch of dough but was thinking, since I already wasted so much flour (i.e. 700g), I might as well just go ahead and bake it and see how it turns out. The end result might be the same anyway - it ends up in the dustbin. The only difference is the state in which it will be when it ends up in the thrash. That's what I did. Holding no hope whatsoever, I popped the dough into the oven after the specified timing and was curious at the outcome.

When the baking was done and I took the bread out of the pan, it turns out to be hard. So I thought, ok, I have a rock on hand. Then I dutifully placed it on the rack and let it cool. After a while, I proceeded to slice it and other than the crust being kinda hard and the inside a bit springy (not soft like how bread should be), it was actually quite decent! But, of course, the shape wasn't there at all. But, heck! It's my first attempt and I'm actually quite pleased with myself. I got the sis to send me another recipe so I can try again and hopefully obtain better result.

Here's the link for those of you who want to give it a shot: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-white-bread.

Treasure Hunted!

There is this place we’ve always wanted to visit but for one reason or another, has put it off for a couple of months. So today, we finally made our way down to PT Indoguna/R&B Grill and what I saw pleased me no end! It’s a little deli and café which comes with all sorts of cheeses and meats and things you dun usually see in the supermarkets. For someone who cooks and bakes, this is a dream come true. They even have mascarpone and bak kut teh spices!

I was so excited I was bubbling inside. The very sight of the merchandise there made my heart sing out in joy. It’s like I was being transported temporarily outta Jogja. I love the deli feel of the place and we proceeded to have lunch there.

Food wasn’t expensive and it was good. And guess what surprise was in store for us??

Hoegaarden! For the hubs and I, this is just so wonderful! We love our beer and the selection in Jogja is just so limited and beer isn’t even a regular item on the shelf. The usual Carrefour where we do our weekly grocery shopping doesn’t even sell beer. So we have a bottle each; even though it was too early in the day to drink and it’s certainly very expensive.

After lunch, it’s time to shop! When I stepped into the shop, I was so very excited that most things seem very useful and I had half the mind to buy most everything in the shop. I was glad we did lunch first before I did my shopping. That gave me time to cool down somewhat and bring the excitement down a few notches. So I ended up buying the really essential stuff instead of going on an impulsive buying spree.

Look what other treasure I found! Prune juice! Before you go, “huh?? It’s only prune juice.” Let me inform you that prune juice is an absolutely rare commodity in this part of the world. I can’t find prune juice anywhere! Not even in the tourist area of Marlioboro. Either people here dun suffer from constipation, or they have yet to discover the wonders of it. So when I see bottles of them sitting neatly on the shelf, I was ecstatic! I’ve been looking for it ever since I stepped foot on Jogja soil.

This place is such a gem. I’m sure I’ll be back for more!

The Contemplative Life

After my previous post, I went back to reading and guess wat?! The next page aptly describes how I feel!! How coincidental!

"The contemplative life is the search for peace...not in a barren, negative closing of the senses upon the world, but in the openness of love.

When I came to this monastery where I am, I came in revolt against the meaningless confusion of a life in which there wad so much activity, so much movement, so much useless talk, so much superficial and needless stimulation, that I could not remember who I was. But the fact remains that my flight from the world is not a reproach to you who remain in the world, and I have no right to repudiate the world in a purely negative fashion, because if I do that my flight will have taken me not to truth and to God but to a private, though doubtless pious, illusion......" --- Thomas Merton

Quietness & Noise

I've been in Jogja for 9 months and frankly, have come to like it here. There are still inconveniences that irks me on a daily basis but I honestly like the fact that I'm left alone. No obligations to fulfill (other than that to God, myself and the boys), freedom to do what I want (cos I'm not bounded by the presence of distractions like tv or shopping centres), and the lower standard of living means maximizing the SG dollar. I like the fact that there is so little distractions here and that I live a very quiet existence. No tug-of-war between the tv and my books; or family time and social life. I've never been a social butterfly and am thankful, in fact, that I dun have too many friends in my life. Otherwise I'll be out all the time, then where do I find time to be by myself?

I think it's very important for one to have time to be on his own on a daily basis. The life of a city-dweller is really so violated by noise. Quietness is such a rare existence and so very important for the soul. Yet, time to and for oneself is normally neglected. There's the incessant noise of the media, game consoles, social scenes (e.g. clubs and pubs) and what-nots. But really, aren't people trying to find contentment and relaxation through all these noises, when what they ought to be doing is quite the opposite? To be by oneself. To block out all these distractions which are what make one flustered in the first place. In a bid to find peace, the urban community has erroneously turned the other way. They're looking for noises to calm themselves. How is that gonna happen?

I did a quick calculation and realized with a start that we're not too far away from the end of our stay here. Time really passes by so very quickly. Before we know it, we'll be packing our bags and making our way home. Then it's sayonara to the quiet existence I've come to love so much.

What Is Motherhood?

I think motherhood is the noblest task of all, because you cannot do it at your convenience, or tailor it to suit your preferences. You have to be ready to give up everything when you take on this task: your time, restful nights, your hobbies, your pursuit of physical fitness, any beauty you may have had, and all of the private little pleasures you might have counted as a right, from late dinners and long soaks in the tub to weekend excursions and cycling trips…I’m not saying you can’t have any of these things, but you have to be ready to let them all go if you’re going to have children and put them first. ----- Endangered (Johann Christoph Arnold)

Bloomin' Brilliant Brownies

Most people love chocolate right? So you can't go very wrong with them and since brownies are one of the very common choice of dessert, I decided to give it a try and where better to look for the recipe than Jamie Oliver's website! When it comes to dessert, Jamie is one chef after my own heart (or should I say palette). So I gave it a try over the weekend and it turned out well, not to mention so easily made! So I decided to bake more today to bring to school for the mothers tomorrow. They love to eat and chat and who wouldn't like a treat or two right?

Ingredients:
- 125g unsalted butter
- 100g dark chocolate
- 25g chopped nuts
- 40g cocoa powder (sifted)
- 35g plain flour (sifted)
- 0.5 tsp baking powder
- 140g caster sugar
- 2 eggs

Method:
- Preheat oven to 180 degree celsius.
- Line a 25cm square baking tin with greaseproof paper.
- In a large bowl over some simmering water, melt the butter and the chocolate and mix until smooth.
- Add the nuts and stir together.
- In a separate bowl, mix together the cocoa powder, flour, baking powder and sugar. Then add this to the chocolate and nut mixture. Stir well together.
- Beat the eggs and mix in until you have a silky consistency.
- Pour brownie mix into the baking tray and place in the oven for around 25 min.

Note: You don't want to overcook them. Unlike cakes, you don't want the skewer to come out all clean. The brownies should be slightly springy on the outside but still gooey in the middle.

Too Much

I've finished 3 books in the past week and they're all about bringing up children. The first book was enlightening. The second reinforced the various points made in the first and by the third book, I'm getting confused with too much info and more than a lil anxious about mistakes I'll invariably make as a parent. It doesn't help that while I have a very supportive hubby where taking care of our child is concerned, we have very different ideas in how the child should be brought up. Some points just doesn't get across and in most cases, it's really 爱他变成害他. There are so many subtle mistakes we make that are unknown to us. But these could leave very lasting impressions, and worse yet, damages in the child that we love so much. I'm getting frazzled. I need to get away from this topic for a while before I dissect the info and chew on them.

I Still Miss You

The hubs and I have decided to start adding another member to our family. Since I had to wait 3 months for my body to recover from the previous miscarriage, our first cycle started in January. But today, I found out that I'm not pregnant and felt the familiar well of frustrations that I experienced while trying to conceive Dallen. I know, I know. This is only our first try, and that's wat I told myself too. But as I dwelt on it, I realised that I still miss my unborn child. I've pushed it to the recesses of my mind these past few months and only when I sat down and thought earlier today, did I discover that I do miss him/her. Then I was suddenly struck with one more uncertainty: wat if I can't give birth again? Wat if my body has degenerated so much that I can't experience the privilege and joy of pregnancy and parenthood again? Maybe my body is no longer able to take the demands of pregnancy and that's why I miscarried? I shudder to think of that and shall leave it at the door of my emotions and at the feet of our Lord. But I know it'll come back to haunt me again.

生在福中不知福

And by that title, I'm talking about my dear son. We went to school this morning and one of his classmates was eating rice with peanuts. After school today, another classmate was having porridge with carrots. And there we are, feeding Dallen with salmon, wolfberries, ginseng, and he refuses his food sometimes. If only he knows how fortunate he truly is.

10 Sterling Tips for a Happy Marriage

We were shopping at Anchorpoint and wandered into this shop at the basement that sells all sorts of wacky things. Ever a sucker for literacy stuff, this row of poster-like thingy with writings on them caught my eye and before long I was reading each and everyone of them. Needless to say, I bought one. I had a hard time deciding which one to buy cos they all make so much sense and is so applicable to our daily lives. I finally settled on one which focuses on marriage and what I liked about it is, they're all attainable; not just some writings in flowery language meant only for the eyes but cannot be put into actions.

So I brought this back to Jogja and will put it up at a prominent spot for a daily dose of reminder!

Here are the 10 tips:

1) Love each other. Say "I love you" often and in different ways. Surprise each other with gifts of praise to show your love. Remember that love grows in an atmosphere of freedom and trust, not from restraint and obligation. Do things to keep your love and romance new and alive. Don't take love for granted, ever.

2) Listen objectively to each other as you would to a friend. Give each other the right to disagree. You don't want anyone to control your feelings, so don't try to own the feelings of the one you love.

3) Never stop treating each other like sweethearts. Always do things to make the other one feel loved. Share the chores around the house. Work together in achieving your goals.

4) Take care of each other. Put the other one first, but don't neglect your own needs either. Do the things that show your interest in your partner's needs, desires and problems.

5) Look to each other for help. Don't let your problems or concerns get out of hand and make you go opposite directions. You're in this life together. Be thankful.

6) Talk about things together the way you would talk to a friend. Absolutely refuse to say anything negative about your partner. Share your most important secrets, and never betray the secrets of your partner. Don't ever give up on your love.

7) Settle the fact that you've made your choice and you're no longer looking for anyone else. Don't flirt. Think of the consequences. Don't consider it.

8) Be in agreement about how your money is spent. Talk about how to manage your finances.

9) When in doubt, ask yourself how you would want to be treated and then act accordingly. If you've argued, never go to sleep without a resolution.

10) Add humour into your daily life. Have fun!

These 10 tips are so realistic. If you think about it, they're actually solutions to the different challenges that a married couple might face. They can be looked upon as guidelines. Conversely, these are also areas of pitfalls for couples.

Hope you'll find this useful!

Home Finally!

It's great to be home. Wherever home may be. Staying at the parents' leaves me in a limbo cos there isn't much to do if we dun go out and I generally dislike cooking in someone else's kitchen. Even more so when that someone is mum. To her, the kitchen is her domain and every pots and pans and what-nots are her treasures. I can totally understand that cos I'm that way too. So instead of getting on her nerves which will in turn enrage me, I decided to steer clear and do no cooking. And when I'm not in the comfort of my own home, everything then seems very foreign to me, even though I know exactly where things are and how to operate things around the house. It's just.....so not at ease. So we ended up going out and spending a lot of money! Far too much! Everything in SG is so expensive compared to Jogja. I really feel the pinch and felt really bad with every purchase I made. But staying in Jogja has brought out the shopping fiend in me. After being so deprived of things which suit my taste, I tended to go a little wild when I see things I like and ended up buying them. When I was still in SG, beautiful things are all around me and I see them all the time. So I dun feel any urge to buy them (maybe except for shoes) cos they're so readily available. I seldom ever buy clothes and frankly, dislike shopping. But after I shifted to Jogja, it's like shopping becomes a coveted hobby. I shop wherever I go (and not just window-shop, mind you!); Bali, KL, Bandung, SG. And I've been to these places more than once, with the exception of KL, and I've only been in Jogja for 9 months!

Anyway, like I was saying before I got distracted by shopping (shopping even manages to nab me here!), it feels great to be home. Much as I dislike CNY, this year was a little better (although it's a lil quieter without the sis and bro-in-law). It wasn't as bad and tedious as I initially feared. I know the reason for this and I thank God for it. The power of prayers!