The Passing of Yet Another Year

2013 will be no more in less than 2 hours. It hasn't been an easy year. But there is still lots to be thankful for. I didn't manage to accomplish any of my resolutions but I'll try to conquer them in the new year:

1) Read at least 50 books (I think I only managed less than 10!)

2) To lose 15kg (I've lost 8kg so far)

3) To read the entire Bible from cover to cover (I'm only at Ezekiel)

4) To bake at least once a month (new resolution added)

5) To save _____ (new resolution added and I won't divulge the amount cos the hubs will be reading this...haha)

I think 5 is a realistic number to work at. Let's see if it's a "yay" or "nay" at the end of the year.

Meanwhile, happy new year to everyone! Have a great year filled with lots of love, joy and superb health! 

终于到终点了

2013就快接近尾声了。回想起过去的这一年，我很自然的就会联想到过去的三年半。这三年半一路走来真的好不容易。

当年我和老公带着八个月大的儿子离乡背井，到了印尼的日惹生活。那里的生活水平低不说，环境还真的是差得很。就连医生都不可信。到了日惹几个月，老公尽然身体出了状况，得回国动手术。在那之前，我发现我怀孕了。可是还未过三个月，就小产了。老公手术后，我们再次会到日惹，尽然遇上火山爆发！机场关闭，火车也停止运作。我们只好连夜赶车（12个小时）到雅加达，搭最后一般机回返新加坡（之后雅加达机场也关闭了）。现在回想起来，流产也许是件好事，因为时间根本不适合。

半年后我又怀孕了。头三个月真的好辛苦。我的胎不稳，必须躺在床上。但我还有个儿子要照顾。身边一个亲人都没有，又请不到女佣。这真是我最无助，最彷徨的一段日子。我终于感受到什么是“叫天天无应，叫地地不灵”。就在我开始要放弃的时候，一位朋友伸出援手，帮了我，我才可以顺利的产下我的第二个儿子。之后的日子就是忙于照顾两个儿子和搞好家里的一切。

虽然老公一直都很鼓励和支持我，但我的日子还是很难过。那种辛苦是言语无法形容的。生活上的点点滴滴我无法一五一十的写下来。但这些小细节对于完成我的故事扮演着巨大的角色。

那艰难的三年半终于过去了。我终于熬过来了。虽然说当时的日子很难过，它当然也有好的一面。只不过，坏多过好。再让我选，我还是会选择居住在新加坡。这毕竟是家，亲戚朋友都在这里。有什么事，都会有个造影。

这次出国居住让我深深的体会到新加坡的好。不管到世界的哪一个角落，家还是最好的。

And I'll Huff, And I'll Puff

Dayen's been coughing rather badly since we came back to SG and in the past couple of days, his condition worsened and he started wheezing. When I heard him wheezing, I knew I couldn't put off the visit to his doc any longer. But his prognosis shocked me a little. 

Dallen has been having issues with his lungs since young so we know what to do when the boys start to cough. However, when we went to the doc 2 days ago, she informed us that Dayen might have to be warded if he doesn't get better after a 24-hour nebulizing. I wasn't expecting his condition to be as serious as that. So we did that, waking him up to nebulize him at night, and went back for a review today. 

The doc gave us 3 choices: admit him to hospital immediately since he didn't make as much progress as the doc would have like him to; x-ray him (which will be difficult since he can't and won't stay still) and continue with the nebulizer; just keep him at home while we continue to nebulize him. The doc strongly recommended hospitalizing him as he was getting enough oxygen. But we decided to keep him at home for one more night.

So tomorrow morning, we'll make another trip to the doc and see if his airways have cleared up somewhat. 

Picking Up Where We Left Off

So, we've been back for what seems to be ages but is actually just 4 days. 4 extremely tiring days which saw us falling ill one after the other and tempers flaring all over the place. This, certainly, is due to fatigue and lack of rest. In our bid to get everything in their proper places and setting things right, we've neglected the kids' routine and they consequently, got very tired and easily agitated which further frustrated and irritated the hubs and I. Furthermore, they now have to sleep on their own (as opposed to flanking either side of our bed) and I think that made Dayen a little (a major understatement!) insecure. He's been waking up several times throughout the night wanting to be comforted and extremely needy in the day. I really do hope this transitional phase will be over soon. I need a good night's rest and less wrestling with him!

The apartment is more or less packed, in no small measure thanks to the hubs. He's been prattling here and there, getting things organized. Thankfully I have an extra pair of willing hands helping out. Otherwise, it'll take me forever just to unpack, let alone do up the place. We've still a few pieces of decors to get before we can really call the place complete. Meanwhile, we'll concentrate on homing the articles that are lying loose on the floor. 

Nomadic's Not For Me

As we do the last of our packing and cleaning, I realise that I cannot be the wife of a diplomat. I cannot just uproot the whole family and move as and when the instruction gets passed down.

We've been in Jogja for 3.5 years and while I do not profess any deep love for this place (quite the contrary, actually), I'm feeling kind of sad and nostalgic about leaving. Gone will be the house that comes with its old age problems, the familiar taxi drivers and places that we repeatedly visit and of a greater impact, the (one and only) school that my boys know. 

3.5 years is not a long time, some may argue. But it's the life that I've led and routines that were established, nonetheless. I may not be a citizen or even a visa holder, but I'm no tourist too. I may not be conversant in the language, but I know enough phrases to get by. It's really a bitter-sweet feeling. It doesn't help that we're going back to a somewhat new home. We haven't stayed there long enough for me to develop any real ties with it. Half the time when we stayed there, renovations were going on and unpacking were being done. The kitchen's not stocked and I haven't established a way for things to be done around the apartment. Before we can really say we're settled in, we plunge into the new year when major changes will have to be accepted. 

I'm not looking forward to the boys' first day in their new school. I haven't personally seen the school, staff and students in action (the school's close on Sunday when we go for mass) and the impression I got was the school ain't as fun and communal as the boys' current (or should I say former...sob...sob) school. When I mentioned brain gym in a recent facebook posting, a friend who is familiar with the school told me that there's no such activities. Instead, there's quiet time. While I know quiet time is beneficial for their spiritual well-being, they (as active boys) will not take too kindly to it. Then comparisons will be made and very soon, Dallen will come home and tell me school is boring. As it is, he's saying his new school and friends are not good and he doesn't like them (he hasn't even seen them); he only likes Blue Dolphin. Gone will be the conversations where we include students from the whole school because the boys won't know each others' friends since they don't do activities together. Their school lives will be "separated" and "individualized". Dallen won't come back and tell me he saw 弟弟during teabreak or simply pass a comment about Dayen's classmate. They won't get to play together in the school playground after school.

People we meet will be less friendly. Dallen will have to move faster and there'll be no more aeroplanes passing by our house or level crossings for trains (both of which are very personal to the boys). 

It is said, change is the only constant in life. I guess so. But I don't like it. Never have, and I guess never will.

T'was The End

The boys are done with yet another semester at school and that officially ends their journey with Blue Dolphin Playskool as we're going to be leaving Jogja and returning home for good. 

What started out as a chance discovery has turned out to be a very positive learning experience for the boys.

We were on our way to dinner from church when we passed by the school and what drew my attention was the word "mandarin" on its marketing banner. So we enquired and the rest, as they say, is history. 

Dallen has spent 3 years with the school and has really done well in school. He's very fortunate to be assigned capable teachers who made learning fun and kept him interested in school. He's got a very firm foundation in phonics and is interested in science and math. He's even keen on bahasa Indonesia. The only subject that still needs a lot of work is mandarin, and that is really a mistake on our part. We should have started exposing him to the language as a baby. 

What I really like about the school is its emphasis on PBL (play based learning), life skills and a sense of community and interaction among students. 

Every school day is started off with all students coming together for brain gym, songs and dance. That, in my opinion, sets the correct mood and prepares the students for the day's lessons. 

The teachers and staff (most of them), like most people here, are very friendly and helpful. When I was pregnant or whenever they see me struggling on my own (and struggle I did...with a baby, a toddler, a pram, a school bag and a diaper bag!), they'll rush out of school to help or ensure that I managed to get a taxi. Little acts of kindness here and there that made me real grateful. 

The last day of school was a tearful one. Dallen teared, the teachers cried and even I didn't managed to maintain dry eyes. If it was heart-wrenching for me, I can't imagine how much more it was for Dallen and the teachers. And the teachers took the effort to leave us with a very meaningful gift: a picture collage. 

I wish the school every success and hope the teachers will never lose sight of the teaching philosophy that they have kept till now. 

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe

So, Dayen turned 2 and we held a little celebration in school for him. 

It hasn't been easy caring for him and that has certainly created a strain on my relationship with his father. BUT, he's so adorable and when he chooses to, he can really melt a person's heart. When he smiles at me with his big, round eyes sparkling with mischief, I can't help but pick him up and give him a tight squeeze.

I actually enjoy carrying him in the sarong as he sleeps. But that is becoming increasingly back-breaking since he's such a big baby. 

Every morning he'll wake up and call for me. After I give him his first bottle of milk for the day, he'll turn around, look me in the eyes and go "mummy" in that endearing and sweet tone of his. 

This kid is actually a little darling. But his active ways, self-centredness and bad temper often made us frustrated instead. I know he has an emotional void that needs filling and when his emotional account draws a healthy balance, he can be very well-behaved. But when that account comes close to being overdrawn, he asks for attention in the only way he knows how: he acts out. So at times, I really feel for him; other times, I just want to shut him out of the house. 

Whatever it is, he is still my little precious and I love him to bits. 

Keep well, my love. The road ahead is long. But I know you'll travel it well. Love you loads!

Happily Ever After?

My parents' marriage is in shambles, and have been for a long time. They may be living under the same roof, but they might as well have been separated. They hardly talk to each other and their lifestyles are as different as night and day.

My mother is a go-getter. She'll be active till the day she dies, or when an illness overtakes her, whichever comes first. She's been hospitalized for appendicitis and I suspect that's because she walks too fast and not due to any sports; she doesn't exercise. 

From as far as I can remember, she has always been on the move. Her life is a constant race on the highway of life. Her only disadvantage? She didn't study hard enough. If she did, she would have gone very far in life. This is a woman who is an absolute symbol of resourcefulness, resilience and diligence. She has slogged her life away, and has also given up the chance to be with her children in their early developmental years. As a daughter, I do not agree with a lot of the things she did/does. She can really get on my nerves and our characters are so similar (read: fiery) that my teenage years was a huge challenge. For all her weaknesses, one point is clear: whatever she does, she does it for her family. But, and that is a HUGE but, she's not always appreciated. 

I'm guessing that is one of the reasons why her marriage is almost non-existent. She struggled to help my dad in his business (which failed) when we were young, all the while also managing things at home. I recall being woken up by her (I shared the same bed as her) after heated quarrels she had with my father and asking me if I want to go to the beach with her. I wasn't even in primary school yet! After we shifted to a bigger apartment, their marriage deteriorated further. Then my dad fell sick. And things just went downhill from there.

Many people have reproached her or even called her callous for not caring more for my ailing father. But I can understand why. It's not that she's shirking her responsibility. It's that he's taken her for granted for so long that she has nothing more of herself to give to him. Day after day, as she slogged for the family, my dad didn't show any appreciation. I have personally heard him say she's a disgrace to the family and that got me really fired up. If not for her, he wouldn't have been able to live the life he lives now. But don't get me wrong. My father is not a bad person. He's responsible and loves his family. He just lacks the drive to succeed and allowed his low self-esteem to get the better of him. Superficially, my mum is to be blamed for the failure of the marriage. She's loud, direct (which can hurt feelings) and she's hardly sweetie pie material. She's a toughie and that's how she carried herself. But honestly, I feel my dad has a bigger part to play for the demise of their love. Which woman doesn't want their marriage to be happily-ever-after? Who doesn't want to marry a man who is capable and can settle anything so his wife has no need for worries (instead of just ATNA a.k.a all talk & no action), and is at the same time loving, faithful, sensitive, considerate and magnanimous (does such a man even exist?!)?  I'm pretty sure my mum dreamt of the perfect marriage too. I mean, she wouldn't marry my dad expecting him to treat her shabbily, would she? As the years go by and she expends herself bit by bit, that bliss and love started to evaporate as well. With the exit of those feelings, comes the entrance of resentment and anger. I can hardly blame her. I can totally understand. The very person who's supposed to take care of her and cherish her for the rest of his life is the one hurting her day after day. It comes to a point where her only consolation is retaliation. It's even worse when the other party does not/refused to recognize his own weaknesses/failures. 

Over the years, I've asked my mother why she didn't opt for a divorce. It's such a mental torture to go through a relationship like that. She waved me off and told me divorce is never an option. She belongs to the generation when if things were broken, you fix it. Even if you can't fix it, you keep it. 

I'm sure my father has many grouches of his own and they may all be valid. My mother is far from being the submissive and loving wife. But really, as a man, recognize and appreciate the sacrifices that's been made for you. Admit your own mistakes and weaknesses. That makes you a stronger and more respectable person. That makes you a real man. Your ego usually succeed only in making you less of a human. The truly mature and successful man (and this is not just in economical terms) doesn't usually have an inflated ego. He's more in touch with reality and doesn't think the sun shines out of his butt. 

Busy! Busy! Busy!

The year is coming to an end and so is our stay here in Jogja. Time really flies and our 3 years here is up. It was draggy while we're at it. But now that the end is near, there suddenly seem to be not enough time to uproot ourselves and leave our lives behind. People close to me know that I am an emotional person who form attachments quite easily. I can't even bear to throw away a pen after I have fully used up its ink. I'm in the habit of using one pen all the way, until it has nothing left to offer. That's me. So it may be a good thing that I didn't really bother to learn bahasa Indonesia. I mean, sure, I know just enough to get by. It's been 3 years, afterall. But my lack of proficiency in the language also means I don't communicate a lot with others, which also means I don't have much to let go of in terms of human relationships. Having said that, I do still feel a tinge of sadness about leaving. I can never be the wife of a diplomat. It'll take too much out of me. I cannot be a nomad. 

Anyway, there's one week left to:

- the end of this semester for the kids;

- Dayen's birthday party in school;

- our farewell gathering with friends;

- finish wrapping all Christmas presents for friends and farewell presents for the boys' teachers.

2 weeks more to finish packing up and then departure and then settling in and establishing routines in Singapore all over again. 

3 weeks more to a brand new year and a brand new school term in a brand new school environment for the boys. I hope they'll have no problem settling in and that I'll have no problem driving them. 

Lots of changes, lots of adapting to do and lots of adjustments to make. 

Change is really the most constant factor in life. And I'm not a big fan of changes. No, I'm really not. 

Play First, Worry Later

What was supposed to be the boys' nightly shower turned into a full-fledged "Songkran" in our little bathroom. I was initially worried that the boys, having just recovered from a bout of flu, might fall sick again. But heck, a little flu can't kill them and what can't kill them will only make them stronger (Dallen did start to sneeze after a while). So I cast aside my anxiety and decided to go along with spontaneity. And what fun we had! 

This was the kind of experience I never had as a child; my parents would have been too busy worrying about the mess. Most Asian parents are a tad too uptight. Everything has to be prim and proper and you can often hear "dirty!" coming from them. How often would you allow your kid to roll around on the grass or walk barefooted in mud (I wouldn't!)? Or when was the last time you played in the rain with your kid? 

I believe children like impromptu fun because there's a surprise element to it and who doesn't like surprises? So when it's unplanned, it's double the fun! Sure, things will get messy and there may be massive cleaning up to do. But let's just treat it as housekeeping. It's beneficial for the kids when parents let their hair down once in a while and just have some childish moments with them. It's experiences like these that will edge themselves in their memories and be retold to the next generation. It'll be quite a pity if your kids have no positive memories to inherit, wouldn't it? 

I used to be more uptight than I am now because that's the kind of environment I grew up in. No crumbs on the floor, no oily hands on furnitures, etc. So, imagine my horror when my firstborn started having solids! Crumbs, rice, biscuits, fruits, whatever he was eating ended up on the floor as his hand-mouth coordination wasn't fully developed yet. With every drop, I bent down to pick. Every stain on his shirt drew a huge gasp from me. Wet tissue was my best friend then. Boy, was I uptight! With kiddo #2, I relaxed a great deal and made life easier for me AND the baby. I start to clean up at the end of the meal. The result? Same. The area gets cleaned. But also different. I don't get stressed out unnecessarily. 

Over the years, I've learned to move away from the parenting style that I was brought up with. I've evaluated the impact that my parents have on me and I'll like for my kids to be a more creative, spontaneous and lively individual. I've always viewed myself as a very serious person and being creative is definitely not my forte. This has got to do with the way I'm being brought up and I don't want that happening to my kids. My parents were authoritarian parents. I choose to be an authoritative parent and it's always a struggle to overcome one with the other, having been so deeply steeped into the former way of parenting. Thank goodness there's the constant reminder from books and the ever available Internet. 

So, I've made my choice. What's yours? 

Sibling Time

Growing up, my siblings and I didn't spend much time with one another. Having a mum who's more financial than maternal (she said so herself, when she told me she'd rather be bringing in the bacon than looking after kids) means all 3 of us were sent away to be looked after by others while our mother did what she could to make our lives more comfortable. Having said that, it doesn't mean she didn't care about us. Just that she didn't have the patience or see the necessity to stop all else to spend time with us. In fact, there is no instance in my memory where my mother sat down with any of us and just......play. As a result, we were never terribly close and led our own separate lives while living under one roof.

This is not the kind of relationship I want my sons to have. I expect Dallen to be responsible for and to look after his younger brother; and I expect Dayen to understand that his older brother has a certain level of authority over him (this is definitely harder to achieve!). I do not want them to lead separate lives when they're older. I want them to watch out for each other. In this day and age when society promotes that personal gains take precedence over all else, I want my sons to recognize that material wealth or social status are NOT more important than people. So I'm glad that the boys spend a lot of time together and that Dallen does take his elder brother role quite seriously. Many disasters were averted because he either personally stop Dayen from getting into harm's way, or alerted us to the danger that Dayen put himself into. He's also beginning to understand that he has to give in to his brother simply because he's older. Dayen, on the other hand, still has a long way to go in shedding his self-centredness. 

The boys are off to a good start and it's up to us, their parents, to continue to build a healthy family atmosphere and leave them with values that are intangible rather than those attached to the mighty dollar. 

You Are Not Alone

Are you tired of being a mum? Do you feel totally unappreciated after all you've given to and done for the family? You're definitely not alone. 

I recently came across this site (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4104515) and as I read the blog, every word seems to come straight from my heart. It's not lengthy; it's not profound. And yet, it cannot be more accurate. But don't get me wrong. I love being a mum to my 2 boys. I feel a sense of achievement when I see them growing well both physically and emotionally. I'm supremely proud of myself for knowing how to cook (in this day and age when most women allow someone else to nourish, or malnourish, their family) and catering to my children's health needs. I'm thankful for my resourcefulness in looking for alternative solutions when nothing seems to work. I pride myself for being resilient. But it does get tiring, and resentful, when nobody seems to notice the effort you put in at every turn. But when something crops up, you're usually the magician they run to to set things right. You're soooooo taken for granted! But yet, you love them all the same. You whine and you gripe. But you always return to that spot in the kitchen and you always do what you have to do. You're angry for a while, then you let it go and slog it out again until your next taken-for-granted moment and then the cycle returns and continues. Sounds familiar? Welcome to motherhood! 

"Sometimes being a mom means feeling a bit lonely. Like no one else notices what we're doing. 

Motherhood is so often this giving of self in our homes that no one sees. Since the beginning of time moms have had to get up, had to deal with kid issues, money issues, teaching issues, health issues, and so on. But, just because we've always had to do something doesn't mean it doesn't need to be celebrated and honored. 

So today, today, I stand up and salute you the tired, and yet amazing, mom. You, the mom with no sleep. You, the mom who needs encouragement. You, the mom who works and works and works for her family and it feels like no one notices.

You're not alone. Do you hear me?

You. are. not. alone."

Whatever?

Are you a full-time parent and part-time whatever? Or a full-time whatever and a part-time parent? Will your children introduce you as their "Parent", or just "Whatever"? 

Don't make them wait too long for your attention and affection. Otherwise, they'll make you wait forever just to have a meal with them in future. What happens in childhood doesn't stay in childhood. It follows your children for life! 

My STARry Son

Dallen's classmates are a very active bunch and hence his teachers came up with a reward system: kids who listen to instructions, pay attention during lesson time, finish their classroom activities promptly and/or do a good deed will be rewarded with a small star and when one accumulates 10 small star, he/she gets to walk out of class proudly with a big star pinned to the chest. Isn't all these to be expected of a child, you might ask. But this is no mean feat for someone who's bursting with energy and gets distracted easily because he's so curious about his surroundings. A child is MEANT to be active and inquisitive. If he's not, then something is not right somewhere. 

So anyway, everyday after school, a few of us mothers (and father...read: the hubs) will be very concerned (read: kiasu and competitive) and asked if their child received a star on that day. When the answer is in the affirmative, there'll be oohs and ahhs before the child runs off to join his friends at the school playground. 

So today, I was feeding Dayen his lunch while waiting for Dallen to be released. We were at the playground so I let the hubs collect Dallen when the class walked out. Suddenly, one of the mothers gestured to me (quite animatedly) and exclaimed "Dallen got big star!" There you have it. What followed was a tirade of questions for the said mother's child who didn't get a big star but thankfully, got a small one and is on his way to a big one (he's got 8 thus far and this number was, of cos, said with just enough volume for all to hear). 

That's besides the point. Dallen has missed a good part of the school term as we went back to Singapore. The fact that he managed to get a big star ahead of some of his classmates who were in class since the beginning of the term made me very proud of him. It also proves to me that so long as he puts his heart to it, he can achieve great stuff. He's not gifted, but he's certainly no dim wit. He's a bright boy and with enough diligence and guidance, he can do well, both academically and in life skills. 

He's got a younger brother who looks up to him and I want him to do well and set a good example. I'm thankful and glad that thus far, he's been a good brother. Sure, there's the snatching of toys and occasional bickering. But kids will be kids. Moreover, he's beginning to give in to his brother and I love it when he gives his brother spontaneous hugs. 

A lot lies on his shoulders and I do have high expectations of him (well, he's my firstborn). His ambition is to be pilot. To that, I'll say: Let the sky be the limit! 

Lasting Treasures or Mighty Perishables?

Over the years, people have been telling me it's such a waste I decided to leave the workforce and be a SAHM. Afterall, I've got a degree, working experience and I'm certainly no low wage earner. Had I continued to work, my pay package, together with the hubs', will provide us with a very comfortable lifestyle. Sure, there are days when life gets a bit weary (ok, "a bit" is an understatement), the kids get on my nerves and I crave for the freedom I used to enjoy and the material gains that used to be well within reach. Why can't I buy that Rolex I've been eyeing (although I've got several watches and they all perform the same function of telling the time), that Chanel bag that will always be a classic (although I dun really need that many bags), that BMW or Audi coupe I've always admired (although we already have a car), that private housing that I've always thought is a good investment in a country like Singapore (although we just bought a 5-room apartment and spent a bomb renovating and furnishing it), that Europe tour we almost went for but didn't cos we found out I was pregnant (although I'm sure the hubs will bring me....it's just a matter of time), that diamond I've been coveting (although the hubs just bought me a not-so-small diamond ring, but who will complain about the diamond getting bigger???) and all the other stuff that appeal to my materialism? 

These are the good-to-haves that make one look better to the society at large but at the end of the day, all these shall pass. I've impacted nobody and will leave behind no legacy when I die. And anyway, isn't it nice to say I haven't worked a single day since I got married? 

This is a personal choice that the hubs and I made and to this day, we're still deeply committed to it. We watch the kids grow and witness their every milestones and sincerely believe that they are pleased with and are benefiting from the best gifts we can give them - our love and presence. We're the ones they call out for in times of need, instead of the domestic helper. We play a part in shaping them to become positive individuals and equip them to meet life's many challenges. Yes, we've had to make major changes to the way we live. But one can hardly call our lifestyle deprived. And anyway, Man is hardly contented. The more we have, the more we want to have. So I'll rather store up treasures that can't be counted, than that which can be tagged by numerals and ultimately lose them or have them be stolen by others. My treasures will definitely be more valuable than the biggest house or the fastest car. 

What memories are you creating for your child(ren)? What stories will they be telling your grandchild(ren)? Will they ignore you in old age the way you're ignoring them now? 

To be loving parents or slaves to the mighty dollar?  The choice is yours. 

Back in Jogja

We came back this week after a 2-months break in Singapore and I'm already counting down to our next trip outta here. 

Leaving home has always been difficult and it's more so now that our apartment is ready. Home is where the heart is. And I left my heart back in Singapore. 

I can't stand the filth of this place. By that, I meant the dust and poor air quality. Dallen, the ever reliable indicator of air quality, has started coughing and vomiting (for him, vomiting occurs when his airways are blocked). Even I suffered an asthma attack this morning and had to make use of Dallen's Ventolin inhaler. Every morning I stepped out of the bedroom, I feel dust beneath my feet (no matter how often the floor is being mopped cos the dust from outside flies in). As I looked out of the balcony door, I see the atmosphere filled with dust. Yes, I can SEE the dust. We're almost always surrounded by cloudy vision, no matter how slight. I see dirty vehicles emissions, thick amount of dust on the roadsides being carried around in a gust of wind, and people littering like there's no tomorrow. We get into a taxi and what do we get greeted by? Stale cigarette smell. We stepped into the most stylish mall here and what goes into our nostrils? Fresh AND stale cigarette smell. 

We've been back less than a week and so have yet to come across a black-out and the smell of our neighbours burning leaves. But I'm sure these will come to say hello soon. 

I miss the cleanliness of Singapore, but I'm glad I left the bitter faces and self-centredness of her ungracious (and disgraceful) population behind. When we go back to the places we used to frequent here, people welcomed us and greeted us with smiles and regards. From the taxi uncles to the mall's doormen and receptionists to the shop attendants and restaurants servers to the baristas at Starbucks to the tempe sellers at the roadside stall. When my boys ran around and made some noise in the malls or restaurants in Singapore, we (the parents) get frowns (and stares) from others, so bad that you'd thought we were making out naked there. Yes, I know a mall is not a playground and there's a time and place for everything. But kids will be kids. So long as they're within limits, I think it's ok for them to have fun. If it's peace and quiet these people want, then perhaps they should just stay home or go to a monastery. I'm not about to deprive my children to please these individualistic humans.

Here, my kids make even more noise and they're looked upon as being lively and adorable. Most passers-by smile at them. Some can't resist the temptation to touch their heads or even give them a light peck on the cheeks (Singapore parents will freak out and start sanitizing their kids). Schoolgirls giggle so much when they see Dayen running towards them you would have thought they saw their heartthrobs. Such is the human touch we don't get in Singapore. 

But for me to choose between my children's health and courtesy, I'll choose my children's health, anytime. 

Happy Birthday!!!

Our nation turned 48 years old this year and I had the good fortune to celebrate the occasion with the entire family! ❤

    A very crowded house. With so many additions to the family, the place is getting a little too small!

    We went on a family excursion to the SEA Aquarium.

We also took the chance to celebrate Dallen's (see previous post) and Lester's (the nephew) birthdays, both of which fall in August. 

    Lester's 1 year old. Beautiful & yummy cake by the sis.

    This picture doesn't come easy. 

Weeks ago, I coordinated with the bro to make a trip back home. He did just that and made sure he stayed past National Day. He's been away in Shanghai for more than a decade and it's quite evident that he still feels a sense of belonging to Singapore. Nobody can be happier than the old folks at home to have everyone under one roof. Very soon, it'll be left with the sis again, as my family and I make our way back to Jogja. The bro and his family already left for Shanghai this morning. 

It was a short one week reunion for us and I haven't spent enough time with the nephew! Hmph! 

    Lester and me!

    The cousins don't get to play together much and they enjoyed one another's company, especially the younger ones.

Here's wishing the nation many more years of peace, happiness, prosperity and progress; and the 2 little boys great health, happiness and love throughout their entire lives. 

Dallen's Birthday Celebration

The elder one is turning 4 soon and we held a little celebration for him at home. 

This year's celebration is extra meaningful cos my brother happens to be back from Shanghai for a one week holiday. So it's full attendance for the family! <3

值得!

Earlier this month I went to Watsons (my fave personal store!) and was just browsing through (as is a habit of mine) when I saw a new brand of facial masks going on sale. I usually use Watsons house brand of masks that comes with green tea or bird's nest essence. These are economical (since I use them almost every night I can't afford to use something costly) and does well for my skin. But this new brand was on a 1-for-1 sale. So I got 4 boxes (2 flavours) and gave it a try.

    The components of the masks are stated on the packaging.

The exposure to the sun yesterday at East Coast Park must have done a considerable amount of damage to my skin. So I decided to use this new mask (since it stated that it's for whitening and I certainly needed that!) that contains rice stem cell and vitamin B3. Boy, am I glad I got this! When I woke up this morning, my face felt so soft and supple without being oily (some masks leave my face feeling oily even till the next day)! Who would have thought something so affordable can be so good!

 

I'm definitely gonna get more of these. You should give it a try too! 

Press On!

We've been back for more than a month and during this period, we've mostly been to the malls. So the hubs and I decided that we should do something different for the boys. Today, we brought them to East Coast Park and planned to do some cycling after breakfast. 

    Off we go, for a fun-filled morning! Or so I thought. 

    Looking all bright and chirpy! I love how he looks in here.

Before we set off, I had this picture-perfect scenario of us cycling happily in good weather with strong breeze caressing our faces. How wrong I was! 

The weather was extremely sunny and the heat was really in-your-face. Nevertheless, we set off and I was thankful that at least, it wasn't raining and our plans were still in place (and there really was a strong breeze). So, we got on the bikes and went on our merry way. 

    All set! Here we go!

15 mins into the cycling, Dallen said he was tired (and we rented the bikes for 2 hours!). We half cajoled, half commanded that he carried on. At some points I had to get off the bike to push him along. Towards the end, he started crying. That was when I kept reminding myself to not let him stop cycling; that I had to push him to press on. 

    A very tired boy.

    Then he started crying. And I stopped pushing him physically, but started pushing him to carry on on his own.

    And my baby fell asleep, just like that!

The temptation to let him give up was strong, for I know he really was tired. But I didn't. This boy needs to be toughened up and life cannot always be a bed of roses for him. It's time to insert some thorns so he can better weather life's forest. Our job, as parents, is not to make life easy for him but to prepare him for the challenges of life, no? 

Note to self: Stop bubble-wrapping him and start preparing him.