My STARry Son

Dallen's classmates are a very active bunch and hence his teachers came up with a reward system: kids who listen to instructions, pay attention during lesson time, finish their classroom activities promptly and/or do a good deed will be rewarded with a small star and when one accumulates 10 small star, he/she gets to walk out of class proudly with a big star pinned to the chest. Isn't all these to be expected of a child, you might ask. But this is no mean feat for someone who's bursting with energy and gets distracted easily because he's so curious about his surroundings. A child is MEANT to be active and inquisitive. If he's not, then something is not right somewhere. 

So anyway, everyday after school, a few of us mothers (and father...read: the hubs) will be very concerned (read: kiasu and competitive) and asked if their child received a star on that day. When the answer is in the affirmative, there'll be oohs and ahhs before the child runs off to join his friends at the school playground. 

So today, I was feeding Dayen his lunch while waiting for Dallen to be released. We were at the playground so I let the hubs collect Dallen when the class walked out. Suddenly, one of the mothers gestured to me (quite animatedly) and exclaimed "Dallen got big star!" There you have it. What followed was a tirade of questions for the said mother's child who didn't get a big star but thankfully, got a small one and is on his way to a big one (he's got 8 thus far and this number was, of cos, said with just enough volume for all to hear). 

That's besides the point. Dallen has missed a good part of the school term as we went back to Singapore. The fact that he managed to get a big star ahead of some of his classmates who were in class since the beginning of the term made me very proud of him. It also proves to me that so long as he puts his heart to it, he can achieve great stuff. He's not gifted, but he's certainly no dim wit. He's a bright boy and with enough diligence and guidance, he can do well, both academically and in life skills. 

He's got a younger brother who looks up to him and I want him to do well and set a good example. I'm thankful and glad that thus far, he's been a good brother. Sure, there's the snatching of toys and occasional bickering. But kids will be kids. Moreover, he's beginning to give in to his brother and I love it when he gives his brother spontaneous hugs. 

A lot lies on his shoulders and I do have high expectations of him (well, he's my firstborn). His ambition is to be pilot. To that, I'll say: Let the sky be the limit! 

Lasting Treasures or Mighty Perishables?

Over the years, people have been telling me it's such a waste I decided to leave the workforce and be a SAHM. Afterall, I've got a degree, working experience and I'm certainly no low wage earner. Had I continued to work, my pay package, together with the hubs', will provide us with a very comfortable lifestyle. Sure, there are days when life gets a bit weary (ok, "a bit" is an understatement), the kids get on my nerves and I crave for the freedom I used to enjoy and the material gains that used to be well within reach. Why can't I buy that Rolex I've been eyeing (although I've got several watches and they all perform the same function of telling the time), that Chanel bag that will always be a classic (although I dun really need that many bags), that BMW or Audi coupe I've always admired (although we already have a car), that private housing that I've always thought is a good investment in a country like Singapore (although we just bought a 5-room apartment and spent a bomb renovating and furnishing it), that Europe tour we almost went for but didn't cos we found out I was pregnant (although I'm sure the hubs will bring me....it's just a matter of time), that diamond I've been coveting (although the hubs just bought me a not-so-small diamond ring, but who will complain about the diamond getting bigger???) and all the other stuff that appeal to my materialism? 

These are the good-to-haves that make one look better to the society at large but at the end of the day, all these shall pass. I've impacted nobody and will leave behind no legacy when I die. And anyway, isn't it nice to say I haven't worked a single day since I got married? 

This is a personal choice that the hubs and I made and to this day, we're still deeply committed to it. We watch the kids grow and witness their every milestones and sincerely believe that they are pleased with and are benefiting from the best gifts we can give them - our love and presence. We're the ones they call out for in times of need, instead of the domestic helper. We play a part in shaping them to become positive individuals and equip them to meet life's many challenges. Yes, we've had to make major changes to the way we live. But one can hardly call our lifestyle deprived. And anyway, Man is hardly contented. The more we have, the more we want to have. So I'll rather store up treasures that can't be counted, than that which can be tagged by numerals and ultimately lose them or have them be stolen by others. My treasures will definitely be more valuable than the biggest house or the fastest car. 

What memories are you creating for your child(ren)? What stories will they be telling your grandchild(ren)? Will they ignore you in old age the way you're ignoring them now? 

To be loving parents or slaves to the mighty dollar?  The choice is yours.