That's Me

I'm someone who doesn't like to have my plans interrupted. When that happens, I get very frustrated and perhaps, insecure as well cos things are then not within my control anymore. Some call me a control freak; others, a perfectionist. Whatever the case may be, I resent having to grudgingly give in from time to time, especially to people as unworthy as my in-laws. I dun even give in to my parents; and the only reason why I give in from time to time is the hubs.

I really detest having to change plans just so to suit their purposes. They have never been very considerate to us and I dun see why they deserve the sacrifices they think we SHOULD make. These are people who want to give nothing and yet gain the world. Well, they have a tough adversary in me cos I dun believe very much in charity. If you have done nothing to earn it, you dun get it. Simple as that. To me, respect is to be earned, not given. I respect someone for who they are (e.g. their character or achievements), not what they are (e.g. their status or position). My mum experienced that first-hand cos I've never really respected her till recent years. I've held lots of resentments and grudges against her and I still do. But what she has done has offset most of the ill feelings I have towards her and I can truly say I respect her now, though I cannot agree with the way she did things in the past.

I cannot come to terms with having to be a sucker. While I know this puts the hubs in a difficult position, I just can't get beyond myself and give in. I can only do what I should do. Dun expect me to go above and beyond the call of duty. For example, we can go for dinner at an appointed date (I understand that is expected of me as a daughter-in-law even though they have never really treated me as one). But if you can't make it, dun expect me to drop what I have planned (I may have nothing on, but that's planned too, you know?) just so we can have dinner at YOUR convenience. I'm not a social escort. Even social escorts have schedules to keep. I hate it when we have to detour just cos the old man called and demanded to see us. Dun act all family man when you're the one sleeping around and leaving your wife at home. Then u pass the buck of being a companion to your spouse down to your children while you go gallivanting. Children have their responsibility towards their parents. But that does not include taking over the responsibility of being a spouse too. Each and every one of us has a role to play. What makes him think he can conveniently tell his children to take over his role and still act all righteous about it? A lot of issues stemmed from his infidelity and irresponsibility towards his wife to begin with. Had he been a loving and attentive husband, his wife need not place all her attention on her children and thus make herself a burden to them physically and emotionally.

All in all, I dun like clearing other people's shit and I dun intend to do so without putting up a fight. And dun expect me to be all demure and purr like a cat just cos you're older. I dun even like cats, but that's besides the point. If you think you can lord it over me just cos you're a generation older than me, you have another thing coming.

Life in Obligation

There are a couple of housing projects that the hubs and I participated in recently. We weren't really on the lookout since we're not due back permanently anytime soon. But since these are projects that allowed us the possibilities of getting new flats instead of resale ones, why not? So we tried our luck and shall wait and see where that leads us.

Joining in these exercises also made me think of wat life will be like when we finally move back to SG. It certainly won't be as easy as now or before. Afterall, having another kid definitely changes the equation. We are now accountable and responsible for another life and that means further stretching our resources and capabilities. Just the issue of how to send 2 kids to school at the same timing already baffles me. Another issue that gnaws at me constantly is the interaction with the in-laws. I understand it's sort of compulsory but it does affect me in no small measures. Nobody, least of all the hubs, can completely fathom how much I truly abhor having to meet them. It's like a war I constantly have to fight on my own. The hubs doesn't see my point and I find that extremely disappointing. Afterall, when he was in trouble and needed help, who was there and who wasn't? He knows the answer but refuses to see the truth. There's always spanners thrown our way but when we needed help, it's almost for sure they won't be around. The only decent being in that family is the bro-in-law. Sometimes it really baffles me why they wanna act all close-knitted when it's pretty obvious it's to each his own when trouble comes knocking. The only one who lends a helping hand is the hubs. So far everytime we ask them for help, it comes to naught. So wat's the point, really? I feel like a damn hypocrite having to chat and laugh along when all I wanted is to flee from them and have as little contact as possible. The only consolation I have is to tell myself that I'm doing my duty as an in-law. But that's really not an easy pill to swallow. Worse yet, you dun have the support of the one who's supposed to go thru thick and thin with you. Oh well.....

We Did Us Proud

I was getting ready to go out while the hubs was in the shower and the lil one entertained himself on the bed when a thought suddenly struck me: the hubs and I ought to be proud if ourselves cos we brought Dallen up single-handedly, with no help whatsoever. There was no grandparents and no nanny; neither was there any domestic helpers nor childcare centres. There was only the hubs and I. The only help we had was probably the confinement nanny who was with us for all of 27 days. Even when we were packing up the house prior to leaving the country, we didn't deposit him with anyone. In this day and age, it's really not common for children to be brought up by their parents anymore. Sad but true. Most parents would rather spend their time in the office, massage or manicure palours, salons or on the golf course. The kids are conveniently left aside while parents go for some "me time" that happens once too often.

Anyway, before we conceived Dallen, the hubs and I made a choice to have me be a SAHM and we stood by that choice. We struggled financially, had very little sleep and really, lost our freedom. Frankly, we didn't regret our decision. We just found ways to work around the challenges. There are times, of cos, when I miss the days when there's just the two of us. We could just up and go without having to consider much. We could, at a whim, decide to take leave and head out to Sentosa and just spend a leisurely day at the beach (and it's always so much nicer to be there on a weekday during a school term) or just drive out at the dead of night for some supper. But ever since Dallen came along, we couldn't afford such luxuries. In fact, the both of us haven't sat down and have a nice, uninterrupted dinner for as long as I can remember.

Having said all that, I wouldn't give up parenthood even if it means I can get back all the freedom in the world.

A Gracious SG Society?

Goodness gracious me! Several years ago, when he was still PM of Singapore, Mr Goh Chok Tong set out to build a gracious society in SG. Not only did his plan not succeed, I think the situation has gotten worse. From trivial matters of hogging seats on MRT and 'chopping' seats with tissue papers at hawker centres to more important issues of nation-building, the ugliness of my fellow people makes me cringe and wanna hide in embarrassment.

The age-old seat hogging issues is almost a no-cure. Singaporeans have worked so hard that they'll rush into a train cabin, push other passengers outta the way, get their butts on a much-needed seat and coincidentally fall asleep as soon as they spot an elderly or pregnant woman heading their way. Never mind that they're sitting on a special-colored seat that has a sign telling them to give the sear to someone who needs it more than them. Never mind that the needy person standing in front of them is really struggling and gonna fall. These seated people are really soooo tired that they HAVE to sit for their journey.

On a recent trip back home, Mum brought my barely 2-year-old son to a neighborhood public playground that spots 2 slides. My son was enjoying himself when a much older kid decided to play the bully. He decided to refuse my son the joy of sliding and hoarded both slides. This boy is obviously messing with the wrong boy and barking up the wrong tree. Mum promptly took over and ordered that each boy gets to use one slide (how dare this boy mess with her previous grandson!!). Guess what? My son got to play on the slide and my mum got a nasty look from the other boy's caregiver! Mum is no pushover, of cos. She stared back and made her displeasure known. I dun blame the boy for his unpleasant behaviour. Afterall, his caregiver saw what happened and not only did she refuse to right a wrong, she frowned at the correction of such behavior! No wonder the boy dud what he did! He's being brought up in such manner. One cannot expect to fault him for conforming to his environment. He is just a boy, afterall.

In the recent General and Presidential Elections, I balked at the immaturity and rudeness of fellow Singaporeans. I see sarcastic remarks with some infringing on personal attacks on the PAP and Tony Tan. Interesting, these people are mostly supporters of the opposition parties. While I have no problem with citizens supporting the opposition, I have a huge problem with people slandering the PAP and Tony Tan. Not cos they're the PAP and that I support them, but cos I think it's uncalled for and totally wrong to be calling any parties or persons names just cos you dun like them or support them. I saw a comment that says the PE result was disappointing (which is fine...to each his own) cos the guy with the hard gel on his hair won it (this is a personal attack and totally acceptable). I won't be surprised if these people actually have got nothing against Tony Tan but are just brandishing their verbal sword at him simply cos he's heavily affiliated with the PAP. Whatever happened to objectivity? He said it's ok to let a taxi driver work till 75 if that's what he wants. What's wrong with that? He didn't say he'll raise the retirement age to 75. Such a decision is not dependent on only the president, anyway. We have a constitution and parliament, people. They need to confer before such a decision is made. Like what PCK would have said, "use your brain, use your brain!!!".

Seriously, the younger generation needs to learn graciousness and respect. The older generation may have a lot to say against the PAP, some may even be very nasty. But to me, they've earned this right to comment. They've been through the worst of Singapore history, worked hard to contribute to her success as a nation and saw how the nation progressed since its separation from Malaysia. That's why LKY refused to forget this generation of old Singaporeans. What have you, the young, educated, affluent, tech-savvy and supposedly smarter generation done to contribute to the progress of your nation?

I stand disgusted.

I'm Back!

Hello peeps! I haven't had the time nor the desire to blog for a while. The first trimester of this pregnancy killed my love for a lot of things and they've all been put on hold. I didn't even have the will to read. Then as things improved, we went back to SG and it's been a busy one month, living life as we know and love it.

The trip back home was a refreshing one. After a very drab life here in Jogja, I basked in the liveliness of life back home. I even adore the colorful flowers on the highway as we travel home frm the airport. This trip is especially nostalgic for me. Went back to our parish church, our own apartment, the familiar malls, hawker centres wit numerous stalls selling food and drinks (eg. Sugar cane) that we grew up in. I love the mornings when we brought Dallen to the nearby hawker centres and then to the public playgrounds. This is the convenience that we so took for granted. This is life.... in Singapore, my homeland. It was also amazing how, when mum tried, she can actually not irritate me. In fact, I think this was the best stay with her, in my 29 years of living. Even the hubs agreed that mum is making the effort to not get on my nerves. Pregnancy certainly has its advantages. Haha... My only gripe? The weather! It was so humid and warm! And it doesn't help that mum's place has no aircon. And I complained about it so much that mum wanted to get a portable aircon. But she didn't and I'm fine with that too. A little heat won't kill us. Oh! And I also love the fact that when I switch on the telly, I see programmes in familiar settings and understandable languages.

In a nutshell, I love being home.

Claypot Chicken Rice

I've been a little lagging in posting recipes for the stuff I've cooked or baked lately. Can't seem to get the butt off the couch to get some 'paperwork' in order. Even the lappie has been hibernating for a long time.

But today I tried a recipe which I came across from one of the magazines I brought back from SG and it's so easy and so comforting I had to post it.

To me, claypot chicken rice sold in foodcourts are not worth the money. The good ones are those you get from old, slightly dirty hawker centres. The hubs and I used to patronise one at the hawker centre at Margaret Drive. We usually had to wait for a while cos they're always busy and if you can't get a table near the stall, you'll have to return to the stall to check on your order and self carry your food to your table.

Being far from home now, this dish is extra satisfying. I have a feeling if I cooked it while we were back in SG, it wouldn't have achieved the same emotional result.

If you're a seasoned cook, you need not follow the recipe to the T. I always believe cooking is something very personal. Modify the recipe (which I did) and twitch it to your own liking. As long as you're comfortable, who's to say it's wrong?

Ingredients:
- 1 tbsp sesame oil
- 3 tbsp canola oil
- 1 tbsp oyster sauce
- 1 tsp ginger juice
- 1 tsp Chinese rice wine
- 1 tsp salt
- 2 tbsp light soya sauce
- 2 tbsp dark soya sauce
- 2 chicken drumsticks, skinned and cut into 4 pieces each
- 1 cup rice, washed and drained
- 2 cups water
- 1 Chinese sausage (sliced)
- 4 shiitake mushroom (sliced)
- 1 small piece salted fish, deep-fried and cut into 8 pieces
- 2 tbsp spring onions (chopped)
- 1 tbsp fried shallots

Method:
- Mix the sesame oil, canola oil, oyster sauce, ginger juice, Chinese rice wine, salt, sugar, light soya sauce and 1/2 tbsp dark soya sauce. Marinate chicken in mixture and set aside.
- Cook the rice with 2 cups of water in a covered claypot over medium heat for 10 min.
- Place the marinated chicken, Chinese sausage and mushrooms on the rice. Cook over low heat for 20 min, until the chicken is cooked, and the base and sides of the rice are brown and crisp.
- Mix 1 1/2 tbsp of dark soya sauce and the salted fish into the rice. Top with spring onions and fried shallots.

Food or Feelings? Physical or Emotional?

I made a casual comment to the hubs after lunch that had I not known how to cook, I seriously doubt I can survive in Jogja. I really dun like the food that are commonly available here and there's only so much I can take. When we eat out, most of the time I have no idea wat to eat and end up going for the same selected few. Even bro who is staying in Shanghai, a place with more options where food is concerned, is being 'forced' to learn how to cook. But the hubs said I will survive just fine cos I will just have to adapt and accept. Moreover, he said, food is not really the issue here. It's really a taste of home that we want. In a nutshell, we're homesick. I've never thought of it that way. I mean, sure I miss the food back home. But that's cos I like to eat. Is that linked to homesickness? If the same food back home is available here, will it then make me feel better abt staying here? Wat do u think?

Cinnamon Toast

We've been having cheese toast for breakfast for the past few days and I thought we could do with a change today. So I decided to make French Toast and at the spur of the moment, thought of experimenting with Cinnamon Toast. It's extremely easy to make and the result surprisingly comforting. I've never been a big cinnamon fan but after having the Cinnamon Melts from Macdonald's during our last trip back to SG, I fell in love with it.

So I mixed some sugar and cinnamon powder in a bowl (proportion to your own liking) and toasted a slice of bread using a pan. When the bread is nicely brown and hot, I sprinkled the mixture evenly while leaving the bread in the pan. Then I flipped the bread so that the sugar will melt and in the process stick the cinnamon powder to the bread. In less than a minute, I'm chewing into fragrant, crispy and appetizing toast. :)

Homesick

I've been feeling homesick for the past week. I miss life as I knew it and I miss the convenience of SG. Really, having a big house and being well to-do (since currency is in our favour) dun mean much if you're not happy with the life that you have. I'll trade this big house we're staying in for the teensy-weensy flat of ours anytime! I miss the food and I miss the communal living back home. When I was pregnant with Dallen, the hubs and I will go downstairs for a walk after dinner every night. There'll be so much activity in the neighborhood. Taking a walk here is kinda outta the question. The only thing you'll gain is more fume in your lungs. There isn't really a community to speak of. We pretty much kept to ourselves, like all our neighbours. Everything looks drab and dirty; lifeless! I wanna go back to my Garden City. I wanna go home!

A Horrible Two Weeks

I haven't blogged for a while mostly cos I wasn't feeling up to it, both physically and emotionally. The doc confined me to a bed and not one to be inactive, I found the bedrest kinda torturous. And for the first time in my life, I went around the mall in a wheelchair. For a while, the anxieties got to me and I really wasn't in the mood to do anything. I dun even wanna read. And I can't carry Dallen. That really is kinda depressing. Now I'm feeling slightly better and hope the prognosis next week will bring good news.

I'm still looking for a maid and haven't found one. If anyone has maids with friends who might be interested in working for me, pls let me know.

Touched By An Angel

2 weekends ago I found out that I'm pregnant and was really glad since the hubs and I have been trying for another baby for a few months. The happiness got side-tracked a little when I started bleeding on Thursday. Not a great way to start the day when you're supposed to be pregnant but saw blood early in the morning. With the experience of last September's miscarriage looming over me, I decided to keep Dallen at home so I can lie down and rest before deciding to do anything. I knew getting him ready for school and struggling to get him home after lunch and school could be detrimental to my pregnancy. This was last Thursday and when one of the mothers SMS and asked if everything was ok as Dallen was absent, I told her wat happened and she was mighty concerned, having gone through more than one miscarriages and a very difficult pregnancy herself.

After resting through the long weekend ( Friday being Good Friday), I felt better and the bleeding has also stopped. So I sent Dallen to school and was all prepared to sit my butt down for the entire 2.5 hours instead of going to the nearby mall like I usually do. Little did I know wat laid ahead of me.

The same mother who SMS me asked about my condition and we started talking about pregnancy and hospitals and gynae, etc. I also mentioned that I tried to look for Chinese herbs to strengthen the body and stabilize the pregnancy but the medicinal hall was closed. Upon hearing that, she cancelled her tuition (she goes for Mandarin tuition twice a week when her son is in school) and promptly drove me to the medicinal hall to get the herbs. So we got the herbs but as that hall does not do pulse-reading, she asked around for a sinseh and then drove me to another medicinal hall but the sinseh was not there yet. All this while, she reminded me to sit wherever possible and refused to let me walk much. On the way back to the children's school, she asked if I have the pot to cook the herb. I didn't but told her I intended to get one. She wouldn't hear of it and said she'll lend me hers. By this evening, she swung by the house and deposited the pot on my porch (we were out for dinner when she came by). And the reason why she knows where my house is is cos she has given me rides home before.

This is a woman who's not very sophisticated. You may even say she's a bit 三八. But she's definitely one who allowed herself to be a blessing to others and who allowed God to work through her. For the few times that I've ridden in her car, I've heard only gospel songs which she plays for her son from a cassette player. Yes, not a CD player. A cassette player. That's how simple she is.

Hawker Centres We So Take For Granted

I've been missing a lot of food we take for granted back home. Call them cravings if u wish. I miss the little hawker centre and coffeeshop which are just downstairs but which I was often too lazy to visit. Now that they're not present, I miss them terribly. I want my fish soup beehoon, kuey chap, hokkien mee and char kuey teow. I miss the tze char stall too, even though the hubs wasn't too willing to eat there cos he found a staple in his food once. I miss the friendly economy rice couple at the coffeeshop. I miss the wanton mee!!! I miss the sambal stingray. I want my ice kacang.

Funny how you always find it boring when they're all there and now that they're not, you think of them as treasures. Human!!! You tend to really treasure something when u lose it. Sigh... Food!!! I want SG food!!!

Alway Look On The Bright Side of Life

When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life.

~~Monty Python's Life of Brian

Chocolate Strawberry Bread

My first 2 attempts at baking bread may have been total failures but my quick bread was certainly a success! It's easy to make and there isn't even a need for a mixer.

The original recipe was for bananas. Since I'm not that big a fan, I decided to change it to strawberries since I have some very ripe ones (which I dun like to have as fruits) in the fridge and the lil one in in his 'strawberry mood' nowadays. This boy is really peculiar. Likes sour and bitter stuff! So anyhow, I tried my hands at it and it came out a success. So that added one more variety to the baking bag. :)

Ingredients:

- 55 grams (or as much as desired) toasted walnuts or almond, coarsely chopped

- 230 grams all-purpose flour

- 30 grams unsweetened cocoa powder

- 200 grams granulated white sugar

- 1 teaspoons baking powder

- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda

- 1/4 teaspoon salt

- 85 grams (or as much as desired) white, dark, or milk chocolate chips

- 2 large eggs, lightly beaten

- 113 grams unsalted butter, melted and cooled

- 10 (or as much as desired) strawberries, cut into small pieces

- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Method:

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C) and place oven rack to middle position. Butter and flour (or spray with a non stick vegetable/flour spray) the bottom and sides of a 9 x 5 x 3 inch (23 x 13 x 8 cm) loaf pan.

- Place the nuts on a baking sheet and bake for about 8 - 10 minutes or until lightly toasted. Let cool and then chop coarsely.

- In a large bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a medium-sized bowl combine the strawberries, eggs, melted butter, and vanilla. With a rubber spatula or wooden spoon, lightly fold the wet ingredients (strawberries mixture) into the dry ingredients until just combined and batter is thick and chunky.

- Fold in the nuts and chocolate chips. Scrape batter into prepared pan and sprinkle the top of the bread with coarse brown sugar (optional).

- Bake until bread has risen and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 55 to 65 minutes. Place on a wire rack to cool and then remove the bread from the pan. Serve warm or at room temperature. Can be covered and stored for a few days, or frozen for longer storage.

Life

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

---- Mother Teresa

Your Kids or You?

There are so many families where both parents are working and the number of latch-key kids is always on the rise. While it is inevitable for some to have dual income, others see it as an escape and choose money instead of the responsibilities of parenthood. Indeed, I have heard parents commenting that they can't wait for the weekend to be over so they can go back to work. Spending time with their kids is more tiring than work, they lamented. So many kids nowadays are brought up by their domestic helpers, grandparents or childcare teachers. Where are the parents in the lives of these children? It is a choice that parents (not necessarily only mothers) have to make. A life choice. Sadly, most choose money or career over their children. They choose to be slaves to their big cars and private apartments or houses. Will the children be less happy if they travel from point A to point B in a Corolla as compared to a Lexus? Will they be healthier if they stayed in big houses rather than a HDB flat with enough space for the whole family? No doubt, having a higher household income will give the children a better quality of life. They get to travel more, have fancier toys, eat at better restaurants, wear branded clothes, etc. They are so rich materially, but so bankrupt emotionally. Does it matter if the family take a vacation every year (some go overseas more than once annually) or if they go away only once every two years? I have witnessed first-hand, the effects on children when parents do not spend as much quality time with them as they desire and also how the state of their parents' marriage affected their behavior. We impact our kids more than we realize or care to find out. Seriously, if money is so important to you, why did you decide to have a kid in the first place? Only to throw them to someone else or put them in childcare. For these parents, I hope you enjoy being taken care of by domestic helpers when you're old or to be sent to an old folks' home or to have your kids visit you only at their convenience. For this is the way you're treating them now. You can't really blame them for taking your lead. What goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. The returns you get depends on the investments you make now. If you can't be bothered about your kids, I don't see why they should be bothered with you when you're old and needy. Afterall, you didn't tend to their needs. You succumbed to your own selfish intentions and choose to celebrate your own life rather than those of your kids. Are your kids more important or are your own convenience or leisure more important? To borrow the words of my parish priest, the choice is yours.

Time Not Enough

I haven't had the time or energy to blog. First, the part-time cleaning lady quit without notice. Then we went away for the weekend to celebrate the hubs' birthday. I totally enjoyed the stay in Hotel Phoenix and definitely put on some weight, though I couldn't clarify this cos the weighing scale at home wasn't working. Then it's back to reality. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry, getting the lil one to school and battling his poor appetite. This rendered me very tired, really. The hubs asked why I'm so tired when I'm actually not doing much. Oh well... I wished I have more than a pair of hands. I haven't done any baking and haven't even the strength to run. I set a goal of 100km in the second quarter and I haven't even started yet. The clothes are getting tighter and my eyes, together with my body, heavier. Perhaps, age is really catching up. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....

'Twas A Good Day

I had a wonderful night curled up with a wonderful book (about how a woman coped with the death of her young daughter and living with an asshole husband), being enveloped in silence as the lil one sleeps and the hubs tackled his assignments. That's the way I like my Saturday nights. It's the night that I get to unwind after a week of meeting the boys' needs and demands. The weekends are for me to restore and recharge for the coming week ahead. But Sunday nights will never be the same as Saturday nights. There's already a buzz of busyness to it as we prepare for a new school week. So it'll never be as relaxing as a Saturday night.

Today is especially good cos I refused to let my anger rain down on Dallen. He's been a lil on the naughty side today, refusing to eat his meals and running all over the place. I chose, instead, to chastise him good-naturedly and allowed him to cry it out and let his negativity run its course. While he cried on the trolley in the supermarket, I got stares from shoppers cos I didn't wanna carry him and give in to him. They must be thinking I'm one hell of a bad mother, letting a poor kid cry like that. Let them think wat they want. I'll rather let them form their opinions (which didn't matter, really, cos I dun even know them) than for me to indulge in Dallen's whims. Like I said, I let it run its course and he eventually stopped crying.

I dun really blame him for being more interested in his surroundings than his meals. He's been cooped up at home for 2 weeks (the past week was a school holiday and the week before he was sick and I kept him home). He's restless! Can I blame him for being excited at being out in a mall??? Who cares about food when there's fun to be had? He has an abundance of food everyday, anyway. It's sort of a mantra that I keep my household well-stocked. The absence of food is unthinkable and unacceptable. And if absence makes the heart grow fonder, then food is definitely not the one that make Dallen's heart grow fonder.

As adults, we like to impose our own rationales and way of thinking on a toddler. We forgot that a toddler is a simple being and does not think the way we do, and it's hardly their fault. We're the ones who have lost our innocence and like to complicate even the simplest things. Theirs is a simple joy. Dallen just wants to have fun. Can I really begrudge him that? Having said that, it doesn't mean I indulged in obvious defiance (not in accordance to my own cognitive understanding but in what has long been deigned as right and wrong). It just means I gave him more leeway. More often than not, children are put down for our own conveniences and 'face value'. But I dun think it's fair to aggrieve a child in this way. It is not right to rob them of child-like innocence and joy just so the parents look good to outsiders who won't even remember having met them.

So anyway, it was a good Saturday but I think I had better go get some rest cos the hubs is down again (when he's barely even recovered from the last one) and I dun see easy days ahead. Goodnight!

TGIF!!

It's Friday again!! And this is an even better Friday cos classes for the hubs was cancelled!

We started the day by setting up the float which we got for Dallen and wanted to let him have some waterplay before heading out. Alas, turns out the float was not meant for waterplay. It's just a float which acts like a playpen and it's got a hole in one of the corners. So we decided to get a tape to cover up the hole. Until then, no waterplay for Dallen.

So we headed out for lunch and some jalan jalan. Typically, the hubs will bring us out on days he has no classes. I totally appreciates this gesture as it comes with the sacrifice of his sleep. He ideally should be working on his assignments at home. By taking the time to bring us out, he then has to work late into the night to make up for lost time in the day.

Anyway, we went to the only English bookstore we know and I immediately felt comforted!!! Books, books, glorious books!!!! I picked out some to be bought and then wandered to the cook books section. Not one who believes in buying cook books, I thumbed through one of them and seeing a recipe I'm interested in trying out, whipped out my phone and started taking photos of the recipes. Haha!!! Talk about being cheapskate!!!

We then went for coffee before heading home so the lil one gets his nap. Tonight, we're going for Korean dinner at our fave restaurant! It's gonna be a good, GOOD night!!!

Dining Etiquette

Dinner Table Etiquette - the 10 Do's!

- Once seated, unfold your napkin and use it for occasionally wiping your lips or fingers. At the end of dinner, leave the napkin tidily on the place setting.

- It is good dinner table etiquette to serve the lady sitting to the right of the host first, then the other ladies in a clockwise direction, and lastly the gentlemen.

- Hold the knife and fork with the handles in the palm of the hand, forefinger on top, and thumb underneath.

- Whilst eating, you may if you wish rest the knife and fork on either side of the plate between mouthfuls. When you have finished eating, place them side by side in the center of the plate.

- If the food presented to you is not to your liking, it is polite to at least make some attempt to eat a small amount of it. Or at the very least, cut it up a little, and move it around the plate!

- It is quite acceptable to leave some food to one side of your plate if you feel as though you have eaten enough. On the other hand, don't attempt to leave your plate so clean that it looks as though you haven't eaten in days!

- Desserts may be eaten with both a spoon and fork, or alternatively a fork alone if it is a cake or pastry style sweet.

- Should a lady wish to be excused for the bathroom, it is polite for the gentlemen to stand up as she leaves the table, sit down again, and then stand once more when she returns.

- Always make a point of thanking the host and hostess for their hospitality before leaving.

- It is good dinner table etiquette to send a personal thank you note to the host and hostess shortly afterwards.

Dinner Table Etiquette - the 10 Don'ts!

- NEVER start eating before a signal from the host to do so.

- Forks should not be turned over unless being used for eating peas, sweetcorn kernels, rice or other similar foods. In which case, it should be transferred to the right hand. However, at a casual buffet, or barbecue it is quite acceptable to eat with just a fork.

- It is not generally regarded as good dinner table etiquette to use one's bread for dipping into soups or mopping up sauces.

- Loud eating noises such as slurping and burping are very impolite. The number one sin of dinner table etiquette!

- Talking with one's mouth full. is not only unpleasant to watch, but could also lead to choking! Definitely not a good idea!

- Don't stretch across the table crossing other guests to reach food, wine or condiments. Instead ask a guest sitting close to pass the item to you.

- Good dinner table etiquette sometimes involves a degree of diplomacy when it comes to the host's choice of food and wine! Even if you feel that you can do better, don't ever offer your criticism. If you feel unable to pay any compliments, at least remain silent on the subject.

- Picking teeth (unless toothpicks are provided) or licking fingers are very unattractive! The only exception to the latter is when eating meat or poultry on the bone (such as chicken legs or ribs). In which case, a finger bowl should be provided.

- Drinking too much wine can be very embarrassing! Where a different wine is served with each course, it is quite acceptable to not finish each glass.

- Don't forget to make polite conversation with those guests around you. Dinner parties are not just about the food, they are intended to be a sociable occasion!

I Spent Money Again

The lil one was down since the last weekend and all baking and related stuff were postponed and I didn’t get to do anything over the weekend. We originally planned to go to the baking ware shop which a friend recommended on Sunday. But since the baby was running a temperature, I wanted to let him get more rest and so shelved the idea. We finally made it there on Wednesday.

When I was told of the shop, I didn’t hold out much hope. Staying in Jogja has taught me to manage my expectations and I am constantly reminding myself not to expect things to be the same as SG. To my pleasant surprise, the shop was well equipped and comes with lotsa goodies. I spied a digital weighing scale which I’ve wanted to get for a long time but was reluctant to part with the money. The old one I had cost about S$3 but each line of measurement is 40g, which means, there are 5 lines from 0g to 200g. Can you imagine my agony when I had to measure ingredients for baking?! So I heck it and decided to buy the digital one (which I can bring back to SG with me) which cost about S$50. I didn’t like the cost but I loved the ware! So bought it I did. Then the eyes strayed to a cookie-cutter that was displayed next to the weighing scale and I promptly asked for the price and wanted to take a look at it. How easy it is to earn a woman’s money! I already had a simple set of cookie-cutter which I took from mum’s old, unused oven. So I really didn’t need another one. But this one is so cool and it made cutting cookies so easy! Excuses, excuses…I know, I know….But wait! It doubles up as an icing machine too! Comes with several nozzles with different patterns. See! It’s a 2-in-1. Worth it right? So against my better judgement, I added it to my purchases.

Then I saw paper cups. I really didn’t need such fancy ones since most of my baking are for the boys at home or the neighbours or mothers in school. But they are so pretty they’ll enhance my hard work. So again, I decided to part with some money. Together with a bag of supposed all-purpose flour (I’m gonna try making bread with them and see if there is any difference), I bought all of the above. I created a small hole in the pocket (all of them cost less than S$100 but the amount was equivalent to one week’s grocery), but brought back loads of happiness. I was grinning from ear to ear and couldn’t wait to use my new wares.

What do you bake when you dun have much time? Muffins! So I settled the lil one and put him down for his nap and while the hubs helped to jaga him, I measured away and started baking.

I used a different flour (not the one I bought from the shop…just a different one from the one I usually used) and the result came out MUCH better. My previous batch of muffins were so dry and tough I threw them away. Wasn’t even interested in eating them. This batch was ok…just that maybe I over-mixed the batter and caused it to be a little heavy, not fluffy like how it should be.

Ingredients:
- 1/2 cup (113 grams) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
- 2 large eggs
- 1 cup (240 ml) milk or cream
- 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 2 cups (260 grams) all-purpose flour
- 2/3 cups (135 grams) granulated white sugar
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup (170 grams) milk chocolate or semisweet chocolate chips

Method:
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Position rack in center of oven. Butter, or line with paper liners, 12 - 2 3/4 x 1 1/2 inch muffin cups.

- In a large measuring cup or bowl whisk together the eggs, milk, and vanilla extract.

- In another large bowl whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Stir in the chocolate chips. With a rubber spatula fold the wet ingredients, along with the melted butter, into the dry ingredients and stir only until the ingredients are combined. Do not over mix the batter or tough muffins will result.

- Evenly fill the muffin cups with the batter, using two spoons or an ice cream scoop.

- Place in the oven and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean, about 18 - 20 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool for about 5 minutes before removing from pan.

Makes 12 regular sized muffins.

Here’s some tips from joyofbaking:

- The important step here is not to overmix the batter. However, there is a tendency to over mix because the ratio of liquid to flour is quite high. But mixing too much overdevelops the gluten in the flour which will cause a tough muffin with tunnels and a compact texture. Only 10 to 15 strokes are needed to moisten the ingredients and the batter should be still lumpy and you may still see a few traces of flour. Don't worry about these lumps as the batter continues to blend as it bakes and any lumps will disappear. Over mixing the muffin batter causes it to become very stringy. This is the gluten developing in the flour. Over mixing causes long strands of gluten to form making it hard for the leavener to work and causes long tunnels in the baked good.

- If using a dark colored pan, reduce the oven temperature, stated in the recipe, by 25 degrees F. (This is because dark colored pans absorb more of the energy coming from the oven walls so they become hotter and transmit heat faster than light colored pans.)

PROBLEM SOLVING

Muffins have tunnels and are dry:
- batter was over mixed (too much gluten development)
- over baked and/or oven too hot
- too much flour and/or too little liquid

Muffins have an uneven shape:
- too much batter in each cup (fill only 1/2 to 2/3 full). Overfilling will cause muffins to have "flying saucer" like tops.
- oven temperature too high

Tops are brown but muffin is not cooked through:
- oven temperature too high
- oven rack not in center of oven

Muffin does not rise sufficiently:
- oven temperature too low
- batter over mixed or incorrect amount of leavener

Muffins stick to pan:
- pan was not prepared properly.
- let muffins sit in pan too long after removing from oven. Try placing the pan on a wet towel for a few minutes to loosen the muffins. Run a sharp edge around the inside of each muffin.

Soy Sauce Chicken

Ever since I shifted out to stay on my own, I've always missed mum's soy sauce chicken. I didn't know how she did it till a recent trip back (thanks to Merapi) when I stayed with her and she happened to prepare this dish. So I looked up the recipe on the internet (cos asking her will invoke frustrations both in me and her) and started cooking. It's quite an easy dish to cook, actually. And the result is yummylicious! I made some additions to the original recipe to enhance the taste. Have a go at it!

Ingredients:

- 2 chicken thighs

- 1/2 bowl good quality soya sauce

- 3 bowls water or enough to cover the chicken

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 tsp sugar

- dash of pepper

- dash of sesame oil

- dash of vinegar

- 1/2 tsp oyster sauce

- 3-4 tbsp dark soya sauce

- 5 slices young ginger

- 3-4 cloves garlic, smashed, skin removed

- 3 tbsp butter

Method:

- In a pot, put all ingredients except chicken and bring to a brisk simmer for 10 minutes.

- Add chicken and cover pot. Simmer for another 15 -20 minutes until the chicken is done.

- Before you serve, bring the dish to boil again and thicken the gravy with some corn flour.

Things To Remember

Things to remember:

1) The worth of character;

2) The improvement of talent;

3) The influence of example;

4) The joy of origination;

5) The dignity of simplicity;

6) The success of perseverance;

7) The value of time;

8) The pleasure of working;

9) The obligation of duty;

10) The power of kindness;

11) The wisdom of economy;

12) The virtue of patience.

---- Marshall Field (American department-store owner whose pioneering activities in retail merchandising were continued and extended into publishing by successive generations of his family. 1834-1906)

Benjamin Franklin's 13 Rules of Morality

Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversations.

Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; that is, waste nothing.

Industry: Lose not time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly; speak accordingly.

Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think you deserve.

Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes or habitation.

Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles or accidents common or unavoidable.

Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

My Very First Loaf of Roti

I've been wanting to try baking bread for a long time but was always daunted by the knowlegde that it's not as straightforward and easy as baking cake. Hence, I've put it off for quite a while. But for some reason, the bread that we buy here always turned mouldy very quickly. In the span of 4 days, the bread will smell funny and you know it's gonna turn bad soon. So I decided to have a go at it and finally got down to business.

Looked at some recipes online and found a simple one that came with a demo video. So off to the supermarket I went to get bread flour, only to find out that the Jogja's version of bread flour is actually not flour at all. So I stuck to my normal maize flour and hoped for the best.

The dough didn't turn out like the one in the video. I had to make some adjustments to the ingredients and was disheartened. Already I started off with a mindset that bread-making is difficult. The dough coming out funny didn't help matter. I was prepared to throw away the whole batch of dough but was thinking, since I already wasted so much flour (i.e. 700g), I might as well just go ahead and bake it and see how it turns out. The end result might be the same anyway - it ends up in the dustbin. The only difference is the state in which it will be when it ends up in the thrash. That's what I did. Holding no hope whatsoever, I popped the dough into the oven after the specified timing and was curious at the outcome.

When the baking was done and I took the bread out of the pan, it turns out to be hard. So I thought, ok, I have a rock on hand. Then I dutifully placed it on the rack and let it cool. After a while, I proceeded to slice it and other than the crust being kinda hard and the inside a bit springy (not soft like how bread should be), it was actually quite decent! But, of course, the shape wasn't there at all. But, heck! It's my first attempt and I'm actually quite pleased with myself. I got the sis to send me another recipe so I can try again and hopefully obtain better result.

Here's the link for those of you who want to give it a shot: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-white-bread.

Treasure Hunted!

There is this place we’ve always wanted to visit but for one reason or another, has put it off for a couple of months. So today, we finally made our way down to PT Indoguna/R&B Grill and what I saw pleased me no end! It’s a little deli and café which comes with all sorts of cheeses and meats and things you dun usually see in the supermarkets. For someone who cooks and bakes, this is a dream come true. They even have mascarpone and bak kut teh spices!

I was so excited I was bubbling inside. The very sight of the merchandise there made my heart sing out in joy. It’s like I was being transported temporarily outta Jogja. I love the deli feel of the place and we proceeded to have lunch there.

Food wasn’t expensive and it was good. And guess what surprise was in store for us??

Hoegaarden! For the hubs and I, this is just so wonderful! We love our beer and the selection in Jogja is just so limited and beer isn’t even a regular item on the shelf. The usual Carrefour where we do our weekly grocery shopping doesn’t even sell beer. So we have a bottle each; even though it was too early in the day to drink and it’s certainly very expensive.

After lunch, it’s time to shop! When I stepped into the shop, I was so very excited that most things seem very useful and I had half the mind to buy most everything in the shop. I was glad we did lunch first before I did my shopping. That gave me time to cool down somewhat and bring the excitement down a few notches. So I ended up buying the really essential stuff instead of going on an impulsive buying spree.

Look what other treasure I found! Prune juice! Before you go, “huh?? It’s only prune juice.” Let me inform you that prune juice is an absolutely rare commodity in this part of the world. I can’t find prune juice anywhere! Not even in the tourist area of Marlioboro. Either people here dun suffer from constipation, or they have yet to discover the wonders of it. So when I see bottles of them sitting neatly on the shelf, I was ecstatic! I’ve been looking for it ever since I stepped foot on Jogja soil.

This place is such a gem. I’m sure I’ll be back for more!

The Contemplative Life

After my previous post, I went back to reading and guess wat?! The next page aptly describes how I feel!! How coincidental!

"The contemplative life is the search for peace...not in a barren, negative closing of the senses upon the world, but in the openness of love.

When I came to this monastery where I am, I came in revolt against the meaningless confusion of a life in which there wad so much activity, so much movement, so much useless talk, so much superficial and needless stimulation, that I could not remember who I was. But the fact remains that my flight from the world is not a reproach to you who remain in the world, and I have no right to repudiate the world in a purely negative fashion, because if I do that my flight will have taken me not to truth and to God but to a private, though doubtless pious, illusion......" --- Thomas Merton

Quietness & Noise

I've been in Jogja for 9 months and frankly, have come to like it here. There are still inconveniences that irks me on a daily basis but I honestly like the fact that I'm left alone. No obligations to fulfill (other than that to God, myself and the boys), freedom to do what I want (cos I'm not bounded by the presence of distractions like tv or shopping centres), and the lower standard of living means maximizing the SG dollar. I like the fact that there is so little distractions here and that I live a very quiet existence. No tug-of-war between the tv and my books; or family time and social life. I've never been a social butterfly and am thankful, in fact, that I dun have too many friends in my life. Otherwise I'll be out all the time, then where do I find time to be by myself?

I think it's very important for one to have time to be on his own on a daily basis. The life of a city-dweller is really so violated by noise. Quietness is such a rare existence and so very important for the soul. Yet, time to and for oneself is normally neglected. There's the incessant noise of the media, game consoles, social scenes (e.g. clubs and pubs) and what-nots. But really, aren't people trying to find contentment and relaxation through all these noises, when what they ought to be doing is quite the opposite? To be by oneself. To block out all these distractions which are what make one flustered in the first place. In a bid to find peace, the urban community has erroneously turned the other way. They're looking for noises to calm themselves. How is that gonna happen?

I did a quick calculation and realized with a start that we're not too far away from the end of our stay here. Time really passes by so very quickly. Before we know it, we'll be packing our bags and making our way home. Then it's sayonara to the quiet existence I've come to love so much.

What Is Motherhood?

I think motherhood is the noblest task of all, because you cannot do it at your convenience, or tailor it to suit your preferences. You have to be ready to give up everything when you take on this task: your time, restful nights, your hobbies, your pursuit of physical fitness, any beauty you may have had, and all of the private little pleasures you might have counted as a right, from late dinners and long soaks in the tub to weekend excursions and cycling trips…I’m not saying you can’t have any of these things, but you have to be ready to let them all go if you’re going to have children and put them first. ----- Endangered (Johann Christoph Arnold)

Bloomin' Brilliant Brownies

Most people love chocolate right? So you can't go very wrong with them and since brownies are one of the very common choice of dessert, I decided to give it a try and where better to look for the recipe than Jamie Oliver's website! When it comes to dessert, Jamie is one chef after my own heart (or should I say palette). So I gave it a try over the weekend and it turned out well, not to mention so easily made! So I decided to bake more today to bring to school for the mothers tomorrow. They love to eat and chat and who wouldn't like a treat or two right?

Ingredients:
- 125g unsalted butter
- 100g dark chocolate
- 25g chopped nuts
- 40g cocoa powder (sifted)
- 35g plain flour (sifted)
- 0.5 tsp baking powder
- 140g caster sugar
- 2 eggs

Method:
- Preheat oven to 180 degree celsius.
- Line a 25cm square baking tin with greaseproof paper.
- In a large bowl over some simmering water, melt the butter and the chocolate and mix until smooth.
- Add the nuts and stir together.
- In a separate bowl, mix together the cocoa powder, flour, baking powder and sugar. Then add this to the chocolate and nut mixture. Stir well together.
- Beat the eggs and mix in until you have a silky consistency.
- Pour brownie mix into the baking tray and place in the oven for around 25 min.

Note: You don't want to overcook them. Unlike cakes, you don't want the skewer to come out all clean. The brownies should be slightly springy on the outside but still gooey in the middle.

Too Much

I've finished 3 books in the past week and they're all about bringing up children. The first book was enlightening. The second reinforced the various points made in the first and by the third book, I'm getting confused with too much info and more than a lil anxious about mistakes I'll invariably make as a parent. It doesn't help that while I have a very supportive hubby where taking care of our child is concerned, we have very different ideas in how the child should be brought up. Some points just doesn't get across and in most cases, it's really 爱他变成害他. There are so many subtle mistakes we make that are unknown to us. But these could leave very lasting impressions, and worse yet, damages in the child that we love so much. I'm getting frazzled. I need to get away from this topic for a while before I dissect the info and chew on them.

I Still Miss You

The hubs and I have decided to start adding another member to our family. Since I had to wait 3 months for my body to recover from the previous miscarriage, our first cycle started in January. But today, I found out that I'm not pregnant and felt the familiar well of frustrations that I experienced while trying to conceive Dallen. I know, I know. This is only our first try, and that's wat I told myself too. But as I dwelt on it, I realised that I still miss my unborn child. I've pushed it to the recesses of my mind these past few months and only when I sat down and thought earlier today, did I discover that I do miss him/her. Then I was suddenly struck with one more uncertainty: wat if I can't give birth again? Wat if my body has degenerated so much that I can't experience the privilege and joy of pregnancy and parenthood again? Maybe my body is no longer able to take the demands of pregnancy and that's why I miscarried? I shudder to think of that and shall leave it at the door of my emotions and at the feet of our Lord. But I know it'll come back to haunt me again.

生在福中不知福

And by that title, I'm talking about my dear son. We went to school this morning and one of his classmates was eating rice with peanuts. After school today, another classmate was having porridge with carrots. And there we are, feeding Dallen with salmon, wolfberries, ginseng, and he refuses his food sometimes. If only he knows how fortunate he truly is.

10 Sterling Tips for a Happy Marriage

We were shopping at Anchorpoint and wandered into this shop at the basement that sells all sorts of wacky things. Ever a sucker for literacy stuff, this row of poster-like thingy with writings on them caught my eye and before long I was reading each and everyone of them. Needless to say, I bought one. I had a hard time deciding which one to buy cos they all make so much sense and is so applicable to our daily lives. I finally settled on one which focuses on marriage and what I liked about it is, they're all attainable; not just some writings in flowery language meant only for the eyes but cannot be put into actions.

So I brought this back to Jogja and will put it up at a prominent spot for a daily dose of reminder!

Here are the 10 tips:

1) Love each other. Say "I love you" often and in different ways. Surprise each other with gifts of praise to show your love. Remember that love grows in an atmosphere of freedom and trust, not from restraint and obligation. Do things to keep your love and romance new and alive. Don't take love for granted, ever.

2) Listen objectively to each other as you would to a friend. Give each other the right to disagree. You don't want anyone to control your feelings, so don't try to own the feelings of the one you love.

3) Never stop treating each other like sweethearts. Always do things to make the other one feel loved. Share the chores around the house. Work together in achieving your goals.

4) Take care of each other. Put the other one first, but don't neglect your own needs either. Do the things that show your interest in your partner's needs, desires and problems.

5) Look to each other for help. Don't let your problems or concerns get out of hand and make you go opposite directions. You're in this life together. Be thankful.

6) Talk about things together the way you would talk to a friend. Absolutely refuse to say anything negative about your partner. Share your most important secrets, and never betray the secrets of your partner. Don't ever give up on your love.

7) Settle the fact that you've made your choice and you're no longer looking for anyone else. Don't flirt. Think of the consequences. Don't consider it.

8) Be in agreement about how your money is spent. Talk about how to manage your finances.

9) When in doubt, ask yourself how you would want to be treated and then act accordingly. If you've argued, never go to sleep without a resolution.

10) Add humour into your daily life. Have fun!

These 10 tips are so realistic. If you think about it, they're actually solutions to the different challenges that a married couple might face. They can be looked upon as guidelines. Conversely, these are also areas of pitfalls for couples.

Hope you'll find this useful!

Home Finally!

It's great to be home. Wherever home may be. Staying at the parents' leaves me in a limbo cos there isn't much to do if we dun go out and I generally dislike cooking in someone else's kitchen. Even more so when that someone is mum. To her, the kitchen is her domain and every pots and pans and what-nots are her treasures. I can totally understand that cos I'm that way too. So instead of getting on her nerves which will in turn enrage me, I decided to steer clear and do no cooking. And when I'm not in the comfort of my own home, everything then seems very foreign to me, even though I know exactly where things are and how to operate things around the house. It's just.....so not at ease. So we ended up going out and spending a lot of money! Far too much! Everything in SG is so expensive compared to Jogja. I really feel the pinch and felt really bad with every purchase I made. But staying in Jogja has brought out the shopping fiend in me. After being so deprived of things which suit my taste, I tended to go a little wild when I see things I like and ended up buying them. When I was still in SG, beautiful things are all around me and I see them all the time. So I dun feel any urge to buy them (maybe except for shoes) cos they're so readily available. I seldom ever buy clothes and frankly, dislike shopping. But after I shifted to Jogja, it's like shopping becomes a coveted hobby. I shop wherever I go (and not just window-shop, mind you!); Bali, KL, Bandung, SG. And I've been to these places more than once, with the exception of KL, and I've only been in Jogja for 9 months!

Anyway, like I was saying before I got distracted by shopping (shopping even manages to nab me here!), it feels great to be home. Much as I dislike CNY, this year was a little better (although it's a lil quieter without the sis and bro-in-law). It wasn't as bad and tedious as I initially feared. I know the reason for this and I thank God for it. The power of prayers!

Half Broke Horses (Jeannette Walls)

"Those old cows knew trouble was coming before we did." So begins the story of Lily Casey Smith, in Jeannette Walls''s magnificent, true-life novel based on her no-nonsense, resourceful, hard working, and spectacularly compelling grandmother. By age six, Lily was helping her father break horses. At fifteen, she left home to teach in a frontier town -- riding five hundred miles on her pony, all alone, to get to her job. She learned to drive a car ("I loved cars even more than I loved horses. They didn''t need to be fed if they weren''t working, and they didn''t leave big piles of manure all over the place") and fly a plane, and, with her husband, ran a vast ranch in Arizona. She raised two children, one of whom is Jeannette''s memorable mother, Rosemary Smith Walls, unforgettably portrayed in The Glass Castle.

Lily survived tornadoes, droughts, floods, the Great Depression, and the most heartbreaking personal tragedy. She bristled at prejudice of all kinds -- against women, Native Americans, and anyone else who didn''t fit the mold. Half Broke Horses is Laura Ingalls Wilder for adults, as riveting and dramatic as Isak Dinesen''s Out of Africa or Beryl Markham''s West with the Night. It will transfix readers everywhere.

The hubs recommended this book and I'm glad I added it to my collection. While I do not totally agree with the way the children were being brought up, I have to constantly remind myself that this was set many eras ago and the mentality definitely differed from mine. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the read and picked these out:

- Every kid was good at something, and the trick was to find out what it was, then use it to teach him everything else.

- As I walked the streets, I found myself staring at people's faces, thinking, So this is what city folks look like. It wasn't so much their features that were different, it was their expressions. Their faces were shut off. Everyone made a point of ignoring everyone else.

- I realized that in the months since Helen had died, I hadn't been paying much attention to things like the sunrise, but that old sun had been coming up anyway. It didn't really care how I felt, it was going to rise and set regardless of whether I noticed it, and if I was going to enjoy it, that was up to me.

The Case of Children vs The Republic of Singapore (Banning) Restaurants

Over dinner, the hubs and I got to discussing the recent news about some restaurants in Singapore banning children from their establishments.

This came as a surprise to me and got me totally upset. While I understand the reasons behind why fine-dining restaurants imposed such ban, I cannot stomach casual restaurants using the same reasons as an explanation for their decision. This is especially so in a country which preaches democracy and tolerance. Children are children. It is in their very nature to be playful and consequently, some of them get rowdy and cause disturbances to other patrons. They do; I'm not saying they dun and I have the unfortunate experience of being on the family side of such children and was totally embarrassed when given THE STARE. But these are not my children and I have no rights to discipline them. My anger was then directed at the parents who were oblivious to the fact that their children are total nuisances and should be taken in hand. But that's besides the point. There is a reason why these restaurants are called "public places". If you really cannot tolerate such noise level, then maybe it'll do you a world of good to pick up the phone, order in a delivery and stay in the comfort of your own home. If the argument on the side of casual restaurants is to "prevent rowdiness and disturbances" to other patrons, then will they also take steps to ban obnoxious patrons who speak at the top of their lungs about that luxurious car they just bought, or that property in Orchard Road?

PS Cafe said they banned children to cater to the needs of their clientele which are mostly executives who bring their clients for a business lunch. While I do not know and cannot verify at the moment how true this is, I can only guess that people who bring their clients to places such as PS Cafe couldn't possibly be discussing about million-dollar deals. The million-dollar deals are usually negotiated in restaurants like Les Amis or otherwise, private dining rooms are certainly in order. So what's the big deal? Parents seldom bring their children to the CBD anyway. Do the occasional incidents warrant such a ban? Will the MRT start banning old people from taking the trains or entering the stations during rush hour because they walk slowly?

This, in my humble opinion, is a clear-cut case of intolerance. In a first world country like Singapore, people are so busy chasing the mighty dollar and climbing that corporate ladder (the higher you climb, the harder you fall...haven't they heard??) that they have become so egocentric. To stay ahead of that rat race, they can only look out for themselves and totally leave their social values and graciousness behind. The world around them is good only if it serves their purposes. When something is not to their liking, their frowns are usually bigger than their asses (which already are big enough, by the way). The government actually has to implement laws for children to maintain and look after their parents? How sad is that?! In the mighty struggle to win the materialistic race, Singaporeans have forgotten how to be a human being. They're simply unfeeling, selfish robots who are programmed by the masters of the many Cs.

If restaurants are banning children, then should McDonald's be banning adults?

Kung Pao Chicken

I've always wanted to cook Kung Pao Chicken and refused to buy the ready-mix sauce. So I sourced out the recipe and made it on my own. But cos of Dallen, I left out the dried chilli so it won't be spicy.

Ingredients:
- 350g chicken (diced)
- 3 slices ginger
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1 big onion (wedged)
- 1 capsicum
- Cashew nuts
=> Marinade:
- One-quarter tsp salt
- Half tsp ground black pepper
- 1 tbsp Chinese wine
- 1 tbsp corn flour
=> Sauce:
- Half tsp sesame oil
- 1 tsp light and dark soya sauce each
- 1 tbsp oyster sauce
- 1 tsp sugar
- 2tbsp plum sauce (which I don't have and replaced with Hoisin sauce)
- 1 tsp black vinegar
- 1 tsp Worchestershire sauce

Method:
- Season chicken with marinade ingredients for 30min.
- Combine sauce ingredients and set aside.
- Saute ginger and garlic till fragrant.
- Add in onions and stir for 5 seconds before adding marinated chicken meat.
- Pour in sauce ingredients and stir-fry.
- Add capsicum and cashew nuts.
- Adjust seasoning to taste and thicken with corn flour solution.

First Mummies' Outing

For the very first time, I went out with a group of mummies and left the lil one behind. One of the mothers from Dallen's school was very friendly and besides initiating a conversation with me and finding out more about our family of 3, suggested that I let the hubs take over today in the classroom while I join her, together with 2 others, for a little shopping. I was initially reluctant as I wanted to go through the whole week of curriculum with Dallen (to see how lessons are conducted) and this is supposedly the last week that parents are allowed into the classroom. And besides, I'm never a very social person and going out with 3 strangers doesn't seem very appealing to me. Given a choice, I'd rather sit quietly in a corner and read my book. But I went anyway. It's a good chance to make some friends. I mean, since I'm gonna be here for 4 years, I might as well get to know some people. It turned out to be a very 'motherly' and 'housewifely' shopping expedition. First stop was a kids' department store followed by a household mall. Nobody mentioned clothes and what-nots. It's all for the kids and the house. I was surprised they are the types that went for discounts and are actually interested in cooking and household stuff. As far as I know, most of the better off people here with maids are not so concerned about money (since they have a lot of it) and stuff around the house (since they dun have to attend to them personally). But this group of mothers were talking about healthy food without MSG, where there's discount, buying stuff for the kids, etc. Although half the time I have no idea what they were talking about, I caught snatches of conversation and some translation were made. Not wanting to make them feel obliged to speak English, I retreated into the background and sometimes just wander off and let them carry on their chatter. Although half way through I was hoping they'll return to school already, I thought it's a good start to what may possibly be friendship in Jogja. Moreover, one of the mothers said she can introduce a very good gynae to me and the doc practises at the hospital just behind my house. Bonus!