I'm someone who doesn't like to have my plans interrupted. When that happens, I get very frustrated and perhaps, insecure as well cos things are then not within my control anymore. Some call me a control freak; others, a perfectionist. Whatever the case may be, I resent having to grudgingly give in from time to time, especially to people as unworthy as my in-laws. I dun even give in to my parents; and the only reason why I give in from time to time is the hubs.
I really detest having to change plans just so to suit their purposes. They have never been very considerate to us and I dun see why they deserve the sacrifices they think we SHOULD make. These are people who want to give nothing and yet gain the world. Well, they have a tough adversary in me cos I dun believe very much in charity. If you have done nothing to earn it, you dun get it. Simple as that. To me, respect is to be earned, not given. I respect someone for who they are (e.g. their character or achievements), not what they are (e.g. their status or position). My mum experienced that first-hand cos I've never really respected her till recent years. I've held lots of resentments and grudges against her and I still do. But what she has done has offset most of the ill feelings I have towards her and I can truly say I respect her now, though I cannot agree with the way she did things in the past.
I cannot come to terms with having to be a sucker. While I know this puts the hubs in a difficult position, I just can't get beyond myself and give in. I can only do what I should do. Dun expect me to go above and beyond the call of duty. For example, we can go for dinner at an appointed date (I understand that is expected of me as a daughter-in-law even though they have never really treated me as one). But if you can't make it, dun expect me to drop what I have planned (I may have nothing on, but that's planned too, you know?) just so we can have dinner at YOUR convenience. I'm not a social escort. Even social escorts have schedules to keep. I hate it when we have to detour just cos the old man called and demanded to see us. Dun act all family man when you're the one sleeping around and leaving your wife at home. Then u pass the buck of being a companion to your spouse down to your children while you go gallivanting. Children have their responsibility towards their parents. But that does not include taking over the responsibility of being a spouse too. Each and every one of us has a role to play. What makes him think he can conveniently tell his children to take over his role and still act all righteous about it? A lot of issues stemmed from his infidelity and irresponsibility towards his wife to begin with. Had he been a loving and attentive husband, his wife need not place all her attention on her children and thus make herself a burden to them physically and emotionally.
All in all, I dun like clearing other people's shit and I dun intend to do so without putting up a fight. And dun expect me to be all demure and purr like a cat just cos you're older. I dun even like cats, but that's besides the point. If you think you can lord it over me just cos you're a generation older than me, you have another thing coming.
